So here I am. $7.40 an hour Sporting The Green Apron up to a whole 23 hours a week. Yes, I make HALF of what I used to. Yes, I CHOSE part time – and even if I wanted full time, it’s not available. Yes, I chose The green apron because it would enable me to audition in la la land sometimes.
But I need to be making more money. Current living situation – rent free, will change in 2 months to $300 a month. Current Car situation is STILL $233 a month – and for another 2 years too. Gym is $45, I pay Bear seperatley from gym and I only see him 2 times a week – I’d like to see him 4 times a week.. He gives me a GREAT deal because we’ve known eachother for YEARS and he’s just a very good friend. But STILL – Where do I find more money.
To live the “life” I want I need
$75 utilities – lets say
Soon I won’t need to pay storage so that gives me WHOPPING $45 back a month
lets say a total I need to NET $1200
This may also pay for Gas, Groceries – things like toilet paper and FOOD.
What do I make now??? I GROSS LESS THAN $600 A MONTH
I know, I KNOW – I’m a loser. I can feel it. EVERYDAY I feel it. Everyday I think of a NEW way to be disappointed in myself. Everyday I also have the same reasons why clothes don’t fit. Because I’m a FAT COW.
YAH – Welcome to week 10 working out with Bear 2 times a week for one hour. And welcome to the 4th week of me doing cardio on my own in addition to my training. And what have I lost you ask?????????????………..NOTHING. I weight the EXACT SAME. My MEASUREMENTS are the EXACT same.
I’m discouraged. I’m stronger – Bear says I am, I KNOW I am – but I need to LOOK different – I NEED IT.
Yah – I’ve applied for Financial Aid for PCPA, no I haven’t heard of anything. NO – I haven’t applied for any scholoarships or Grants – WHERE DO I DO THIS?? And can’t apply for a Student Loan until I”ve been a student for 30 days.
I KNOW – EVERYONE has money problems and they seem to work themselves out. they WON”T work themselves out at this rate. I dont’ want to go back to hotels just to pay bills and food on the damn table. I dont’ want a boring office job.
I don’t know what to do – I dont’ know I don’t know I don’t know.
All I know, is I need more money.