jack and I began decorating for Christmas the other day. We needed some happiness in our lives.

It’s been so awkward here at…"home." I’m waiting for Mark to move out. Then Jack and I will live here by ourselves. Rent will go up for both of us, but we like our house. I’ve been sleeping on the couch after Mark got mad at something I said and whipped out the "Fine! Then stay out of my bed" bit. Don’t watch HIS TV and MY TV was in the livingroom where my new bed was. Shrug. It IS his bed. And I’m getting a queen bed tomorrow I found on craigslist for $50. Kevin’s gonna help me move it, so that will be helpful. I’m just gonna store it in the garage until Mark leaves. For now I’m gonna move my stuff down to Jacks room and move my few bits of furniture, dresser, some rolling drawers, in the garage as well. The land lord is going to cancel the old lease, so mark can be taken off of it and sign an addendum with Jack and me for the house. We will go month- to- month, that’s also helpful. We are going to discuss renting the garage out as a room/space and having that person share my bathroom. This someone, will not be a stranger – neither one of us want to put an ad up to interview strangers.

Now I’m home, by myself for the time being, watching Smallville Season 7 which I only saw half of when it was actually airing, so it’s fun to watch what’s been happening. I’m drinking Hot chocolate with Peppermint Schnapps introduced to me by Cincinnati, – yum. I’ve done my nails, a make shift french manicure with my trusty Q-tips and I’m sporting my new moratorium ring. As in "I declare a moratorium on things relationship, I declare a respite from the toils of liaison, I do need a breather from the flavors of entanglement, I declare a full time out from all things commitment" – Alanis – go Alanis. =) I bought one after Jeffrey and I split and got rid of it, so I bought another one – I like it. I also put earrings in. I have 3 holes in each lobe. Did you know that? But I haven’t worn earrings in YEARS. Surprisingly, I got all earrings in. just one hole gave me a little trouble, but I got that one too. I feel a little bit more girly. Which in some ways I think is good, in other ways I think is…weak – or something. I can’t quite describe how I feel. Being "girly" or "feminine" for me is distorted in some ways. I have expectations of myself that are not being met and rediscovering or reinventing myself seems to be the way most of us girls go about things. Who knows, maybe I’ll do my hair tomorrow – it is a salon day after all.