The weather in New York is deceiving.  There is no way one can look outside their window and realize the temperature or conclude the kind of day it is going to be.  It can rain any day, whether it is hot and humid, or cold and windy.  It has been an interesting experience trying to learn how to dress for thirty degree weather when it “looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day out!”  But, it is just as dreadful as it sounds when you look outside and think “it’s a blizzard out there…I don’t want to leave the house.”  During the snow storms or “pretty” snowfall, there are few people that go “LET’S GO OUTSIDE TODAY!!!”  It’s freezing, the ice that has melted on the ground has turned into slush and the temperature can still make your feet cold even if you have on wellies and a couple good pairs of thick socks.  Even with those leggings on underneath my workpants, my sweater and scarf followed by my coat and beanie and gloves–I never leave the house when it’s cold out thinking “looks like it’s going to be beautiful”  I’ve come to the small conclusion that this is because it’s beautiful until you’re in it and really experience it.  Then it just becomes another day.  Another obstacle to make time to get past on your way to work.  The commute will only take longer because I will walk slower because I’m shivering and don’t want the wind to knock me down onto the street–which it has once or thrice before.  Not to mention the bag I take with me everywhere I go because I have too much stuff to tote around with me.  These are the times I miss having a car.  A vehicle I can get to quickly, that can warm me or cool me down with the turn of a knob, and get me as close to the front door of work as possible without the 10 minute hike through the “beautiful weather outside”

I’d say the few and far between times where the icy weather doesn’t have it’s bitter and sharp stabs of chill sneaking up on you, are when you are bundled up–and walking next to the person that makes you happy, and they are also bundled up.  I mean, at least your in it together.  You have company, you’re going to get through it together!  All of that sounds great and inspiring and even encouraging to some extent.  But you know, when it gets down to it–when it’s cold outside, I don’t want it anywhere near me.  I like the feel of warmth and comfort.  I feel more alive when I don’t feel like I’m going to freeze to death.  I think that’s fair to say.

That said…

It’s always an easy topic of conversation.  Always sounds cliche, but it’s something the  next human can relate to with you.  People comment on one another’s coats or gloves.  They complain about the heat indoors when they have to delayer.  They make light comments about how the weather affected their day, but you know what…whoever came up with the opening line regarding the weather–had relationships on their mind.

“Nice day today” great opening line.  Kind, non intrusive.  Circulation is running normal so no need to run from me because I’m not going to jump on you for body heat, nor am I so hot that I’m sweating in the most unattractive places one could be sweating in.  (I think you sat in a puddle, must be so humid out there–nope it’s my ass-sweat…not a great opening line)

“It’s gonna be a scorcher!”  My mom used to say that when it was going to be in the 90’s or even hit the hundreds (and why do I say hundredS, as if it maybe be one to 4 hundred degrees at some point today…stupid).  We’d wear tank tops, shorts, and forget the SPF, I’m half islander I will tan!!–except no I won’t because I personally burn..anyway!  dot dot dot hot days always led to finding something cool to drink or something that could melt on you that you wouldn’t complain about, like ice cream.  Well, some might complain because it could get sticky but it’s cooling the arm down so why not let it melt down my hand and into my elbow crease.  This way I’ll have something to remind me about how much fun I had when it pulls at the skin later.  That and I’ll have something to complain about.

So wait a minute.  If it’s cold and windy (possibly raining, sleeting, or snowing) I’m going to complain.  If it’s hot and humid (possibly raining) I’m going to complain.  Even if it’s a “nice day out” I bet I’d complain because I’d still have to go to work (or school if you’re younger)  WELL–so the talking about the weather is just one way to make a complaint, using light easy, non intrusive or creepy, conversation.  That’s nice–except…when can I just be happy about it?

Sometimes I feel so in love that nothing could bring me down.  Then, of course, I have to leave those clenches of warmth and comfort to face “the real world” and I can have something to complain about.  Sometimes it really DOES feel like I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day.  And as long as I have a claw to pull my hair up, I don’t even mind that 50 mph wind gusting against my face making my eyes water.

There are few times when I’m okay with watery eyes. ..And I’ve noticed there are few times when the guy I’m dating can handle me with watery eyes.  Laughing so hard I cry.  Wind blowing in my face and eyeliner and mascara running down my face isn’t fun–but it’s never for long.  Tears of sadness though–yikes.  I hate those.  And so do the guys, am I right?  It’s such a personal and vulnerable thing to cry out of sadness or hurt.  It’s just like those icy cold days where I have to bundle up even though I will still be cold.  Like, there’s no stopping it but for some reason I’m supposed to keep going.  Crying doesn’t mean I get to stop doing everything, in fact it means I should probably do everything MORE and with more purpose and meaning because then it can get my mind off of what ever made me cry–then I can cry out of anger.  Blow off everyone and not give a shit how my words come out or who gets left in my wak of destruction.  Anger makes me come across distraught and sort of torn, but with reason!!! Crying could easily just mean I’m a big baby and someone hurt my feelings.  Except…that’s when we want people to be the most careful, isn’t it?  I mean, when I’m pissed say anything you want, it will only make me MORE pissy, or not change me at all–nothing you say or do will help me feel better.  But if I’m crying, there are many things you could say or do to make me feel better.  Granted, there is perception of the situation in all this, but simply–the first reaction when someone is crying is to think “what’s wrong?”

That’s why the weather is so confusing in NY (what?)  It’s deceiving.  It can be beautiful to look at through those double paned windows but step out and it will feel like it’s trying to destroy you.

Now read that last mini paragraph with “relationships are” instead of “weather is”

Now look at your modern furniture designed to look distraught, agitated and used up a bit.  It’s one thing to earn those scratches and dings, but to do it for looks is just as deceiving as hearing “it’s raining in New York”  because that could mean more than one thing.

Whether the weather be cold, whether the weather be hot, we’ll whether the weather whatever the weather, whether we like it or not.

But…why?

The guys will want you to stop crying because they don’t know what to do with you when it happens, and they no longer have any sympathy left for you.  Complain about the cold.

Guys will love you quickly because you’re funny and smart and you (appear to be?) are easy going and care free.  Complain that they just want to be your friend.

Guys will fall for you, head over heels–and maybe smother you.  complain about the humidity.  It’s too hot to be close

Looks like all we can actually talk about, really, is the weather, and by talk I mean complain.

Now replace the word weather again.

And next time you watch the forecast check your horoscope too–why not.