You are not missing something.  There is no “2016 Year in Review.” that was the year that blurred the most, but also made other things abundantly clear.  Those things are as follows: I am no longer living in New York City. I am now a mother. These are short and simple statements that also, seemingly, pack a-lot-of-punch.  I certainly could go on and on about either statement, but that would distract me from this particular post.  Perhaps some other time, I’ll let you in on all the details of my planned cesarian, getting engaged, opening my own spa and what it’s really like “baking bread” or “raising dough” – as it were. heh.

In 2017 I….um…well I woke up everyday.  I know this because I went to work, or hung out with McDreamy and our little loaves of bread. Sourdough and Rye. We don’t actually call them that.  Lgirl and Kboy or bubs happen more often than their real names or bread-names. In 2017 I…um…well I didn’t sleep too much.  I know this because I was tired for most of the year from working for myself, raising twins, and planning a wedding.  We did actually get married, we did not leave for a honeymoon, rather we stayed 2 nights at Sycamore in something that was larger than our apartment, and McDreamy and I took one night alone in Cambria while my Maamm watched the babies.

In 2017 I …um…well I gained a lot of weight.  I hit the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life.  Some say thats because I have kids now, others say that’s because I don’t sleep, I say it’s because the man of my dreams cooks delicious meals every day and all I have to do is sit and eat.  Eating comes with it’s own challenges though.  It tastes so good, I want to eat ALL OF IT.  It was very rare we’d have left overs because it was so tasty I’d have seconds or thirds just to get the flavor in my mouth.  I mean, we have Burger Night every friday night and there were some fridays where my burger had cheese stuffed in the inside of the meat patty and the patty was wrapped in bacon with half an avocado on top.  Yah, I’m not saying no to that.  Eating comes with other challenges – like gaining weight because I’m not exercising.  That can be subjective and I signed up for a gym at one point but I’m not at a point where I can just do 35 minutes on an elyptical machine and call it good.  I need real motivation.  Real discipline. Maybe even goals.  and in 2017 I um…well I didn’t have any of that. But that has nothing to do with an actual review, does it?

JANUARY

My mom gifted McDreamy and I “date night.”  Every other monday, she comes over to watch and play with her grandbabies and Derek and I go away.  We become Derek and Aiyani, not dad and mom.  We take this time to sit and chat and tell stories to one another.  Some we’ve already told but we weren’t together for 15 years, so there are still some new ones to hear and laugh about. January also introduced us to Jim Beam Honey whiskey.  A delicious rendition of honey whiskey that I mix with gingerale and Derek mostly drinks on the rocks.  We finally had our first guests in our first home (apartment) together.  We got our own place in September 2016, and our first guests were Cory and Jen, and Derek made crockpot fajitas.  They were stupid good.  I purchased Sound of Silence the Disturbed cover and listened to it on repeat for a long while.  I want to make out with that guys voice! I said that to Derek and he didn’t understand.  I didn’t want to make out with the guy – just his voice. heh.  What else? Oh, 2017 started off with getting fraudulent charges on my work debit card.  This actually happened 3 times to my business card, and once to my personal card during the first 4 months of 2017.  But I’d like to not say it in each month I “reflect” upon.  I mean…who wants to reminisce about bank security or website hackers?  not me.  Maybe you, but not me.  But I’ll say this: FOUR FREAKING TIMES I HAD TO CHANGE MY DEBIT CARD.  lame.

FEBRUARY

I was told I would experience “mommy brain.” Sounded silly enough, and with 2016 basically hovering in a haze just behind me I promised I would take a picture the first time I experienced it.  You’re welcome.  Michael Bolton had a Valentine’s special that was HILARIOUS, I hope they put it on Netflix again this year, so we can make it a tradition. Derek, ever the cook, would even make his own meatballs when we were having spaghetti, or pasta or sort.  The bread played in what we called “the fort” and others would call “baby jail” and my mom called “fortress of playitude.”  It kept them in one place, safely and Derek could get other things done around the house.  He was (and still is, and amazing at this) the stay-at-home-parent.  Something I could never be.  People always ask me “how do you do it?! [raise twins]” my answer is always “I don’t do it, Derek does.” He has the stamina to play all day with them, change 15 diapers, make food, and clean the house day after day.  I don’t.  So I go to work. That’s my part, I do what I can to participate in the well being and growth of this family.  I think we both work hard.  In February Derek’s film I Had A Bloody Good Time At House Harker was released on DVD internationally (special DVD players over there) and we watched it here, on my computer with subtitles. It. Was. Awesome.  hahaha  pretty sure they had one guy to the voices for all the male parts, and one girl do all the voice overs for female parts.  We watched the whole thing with english subtitles while listening to Spanish voice overs.  one of the best evenings. ha!  The Bread turned one and I made cupcakes.  It is the one time I’ve dipped into the kitchen, specifically the oven.  They turned out alright. I mean, it was a box I added milk and eggs to, ya know? I put icing on to. Then I licked the spreading knife, like ya do.

MARCH

A friend of mine had a birthday in March, Vickie.  She had said what she wanted for her birthday was the old karaoke gang to come out and sing some songs.  So – we did.  Kaza and I showed up together, like old times, we sang songs from our days at Sunset Dunes.  We made fun of how we can’t do back bends while dancing anymore.  Kaz and I even busted out some show tunes.  People that knew us back then, they sat in the ‘front row’ and we all were transported for a short time, especially when we sang “for good.”  That made the tears roll down for a several people.  The past is a place I actually rather enjoy visiting and bringing up (when it’s good stuff…). We used to go out 2-4 times  a week just to sing.  Now, well, I did it once in March of 2017, and I have a blurry picture to prove it. In other news I reflect on watching GIRLS on HBOGO, and in one episode they were at Rice to Riches in NYC and I freaked out!  I LOVED IT THERE.  I had only been a few times but it was always so freaking good.  I thank The Professor for introducing me to such goodness.  The Official Wonder Woman Trailer came out and sister and I promised each other we’d go together.  Derek made pizza-burgers one friday night (you know we did burgers every friday night), I was on the search for the greatest bra, and Bubs wanted to sweep everything with his new broom.  He was cute running up and down the hallways dragging his broom around.

APRIL

Derek made peanut butter cookies from scratch.  – I know that is not what is pictured, relax, I’m getting to it.  But he did! And they were great!.  I tried Bulletproof coffee, you know the kind where you put ghee in your coffee.  Yah, I did that for about 2 weeks. ew.  Couldn’t keep it up.  Just tasted like butter in my coffee.  Derek’s friend came up from los angeles for a visit and Lgirl judged him (like she does) right up until he was leaving then I’m pretty sure she flashed him a smile.  Vons was selling GirlScout cookie cereal.  I mean…that’s pushing it right?  You can’t just take Thin Mints and put them in a bigger box and call it cereal.  That’s awful.  There is a line, GirlScouts, there is a line.  I mean are you going to also encourage your girls to get a dentist patch for the sash? Don’t branch out to cereal.  Stick to cookies.  We all look forward to that time of year, like it’s a holiday, but then you have to leave it alone.  Daaaannnaaaa sent me a link to see John’s new video [John Mayer].  He hadn’t released anything recently and Still Feel Like Your Man is not a great song, but has a funny video.  Big tall white guy dancing around a bunch of short folks?  Sure, I’ll watch it.  heh. My sister had a little Easter Egg Hunt at her place for her kids, and ours (heehee).  Once the Bread started realizing there were fish crackers in the plastic eggs, they stopped looking for other eggs.  Derek would push them down the hallways in a box that slid on the tile and they would just laugh and laugh.  Couple times they stand up, looking like Katniss and Peeta approaching in their chariot while on fire. We went to MEDIEVAL TIMES!!!! Man, I love that place.  The drive down was almost great…bubs got car sick and threw up 1.5 miles away from our exit to the hotel.  My mom came down to stay in the hotel with the Bread, and Cory n Jen went with us to dinner.  Derek made me chocolate chip cookies for my birthday! I had been craving them for weeks, and he had apparently done a few days of research for the best recipe and made super yummy gooey chocolate chip cookies. At the end of the month, McDreamy ran the SLO Half Marathon.  It took longer for us to get out of the event parking, than it did for him to run the race.

MAY

The teething tablets we relied on were no longer being made.  This was shocking and very inconvenient.  While reading a book (for probably the 50th time) I decided once and for all to make a few corrections.  My mom let me borrow her Hoover Carpet Shampooer and the shades of the round kid rug and the hallway rugs all got lighter from the amount of dirt I lifted up.  wow.  Yowza.  The Bread did not like toys too much, they only liked boxes.  Boxes they could climb in, sit in, be pushed around in.  Just boxes.  They colored pictures for me for Mother’s Day, I didn’t see them color but Derek made sure they didn’t eat the crayons, but yes they tried.  I attempted a Keto Diet and hated it.  We watched the entire Frasier Series.  Well, we finished the series in May, we didn’t start and finish in May.  I know you are wondering.  yes we binge watched.

JUNE

Wonder Woman hit the big screen and my sister and I went opening weekend!  we LOVED IT.  Ugh, even if I didn’t like the actor who plays WW (which I do) I would see that movie again just for the first 20 minutes.  Watching Robin Wright as the general of the amazons made me question everything I’m doing in my life.  Why am I not shooting arrows three at a time while flying through the air? – essentially.  I brought my old Kindle back to life.  It was out, like, in a coma.  I had to do several cold boot attempts and charging for X amount of time before I saw life, but it woke up and I downloaded a few books.  I even started reading one.  No, I did not finish it.  Shut up.  Randy-I-am-Your-Biggest-Fan visited and he and his daughter came over for dinner and met the twins, and McDreamy.  Randy said he was excited to come over to eat because of all the pictures he’d seen of Derek’s meals.  We had fitbits and we actually wore them.  My sleep cycle was…beyond awful.  Vinny (Derek’s best friend) got us a diaper genie as a gift, saving all of us.

JULY

John Mayer played at the MidState Fair again! Daaaannnaaa and BrightEyes and I all went together.  I, oddly, do not have a picture of all three of us.  I believe it is on someone elses phone.  I distinctly remember taking pictures with all three of us.  There was a waterfall of sorts behind us! and we had drinks INSIDE of a pineapple, we had tritip burritos and enjoyed John from the 6th row!  awwww, love his music (most of it), and he had a good play list.  Some nice recalls to his first couple albums.  Good times.  I was approved for Term Life Insurance.  I know, I know, that’s a weird one but also not a weird one.  I scratched my cornea and had to reschedule clients for two days and wear an eye patch as I was very sensitive to light.  I basically lay there with my eyes closed for two days bored out of my mind.  My Bridal Shower was Greek Goddess themed and super fun.  Yummy food and lovely ladies.

AUGUST

A colleague became certified for microblading and ran a fantastic special allowing me to get my brows done!  Her name is Bernadette and she owns Brow Ink She quite literally gave me the eyebrows I’ve wanted for 20 years.  Derek and I continued to  be gifted “date nights” by my Maamm, one of which we spent at Vons, buying groceries.  But hey, we were together and didn’t have to worry about babies. ha! We did enjoy family nights as well, like going to All You Can Eat @ Klondike’s Pizza in AG!  Pretty sure Kboy had a pizza coma like his dad afterwards.  Another family day was having breakfast at the Cowgirl Cafe in Nipomo.  Excellent prices for us and enough room so that if the babies dropped food it didn’t end up in someones hair or plate – except ours.  Wonder Woman became available on Amazon and you’re damn right I purchased it.  Watched it every night for about a week.  Well, not the whole thing every night, but The Bread enjoyed it too, rightfully so!

SEPTEMBER

I married McDreamy September 20, 2017.  During the ceremony I admittedly named him the “one who got away” I truly never thought I’d love a man so much.  He and I dated in 2000 for 2 years and broke it off because we were not on the same page for our future(s).  Fifteen years later we met up again and now we are family.  He’s my favorite.  Boyfriend Jenn and her boyfriend Jeff were able to come out from Jersey. All of the Jersey Moffett boys came out!! Watching her boys help with The Bread was cute and fun.  Feeding them and playing with them, so glad they were here.  So thankful.  We stayed at  Sycamore Mineral Springs in what seemed to be something larger than our apartment…  for two nights, and Cambria Pines Lodge for one night.  At Sycamore we had The Bread with us, but my mom watched them when Derek and I wen to Cambria. There is a REALLY good pizza place in Cambria that we already decided we take a daytrip for, and we’d even bring the babies to enjoy it. oooOOOOoooo

OCTOBER

One of the family nights we had was “Moana in the Park” out at Shell Beach.  They played Moana on a big screen.  Couldn’t hear it back where we were though.  And MAN it was crowded there. WOW.  I remember as it began to get dark I feared one of them running into the crowds and we’d lose them.  But, we teamed up 1adult:1baby and took turns running around and watching the movie.  Lgirl likes cheetos. We found this out.  A client of mine gifted us some Hinkle Twins Salsa and it is SOOOOO GOOOODD.  We now buy jars by the case! Derek’s film hit Amazon Prime on Friday October 13th to rave reviews!  It’s…really cool having my husbands movie be on a mainstream thing like Amazon Prime.  hi.  so cool.  We dressed The Bread up for Halloween and went trick-or-treating to 3 places.  First was my sister’s, second was my Maamm’s, and third was my Dad’s.  My dad also gifted me his old car so I could have a commuter car to work, and Derek could have the family car to take the kids to the park n stuff.  I drive a stick shift…well, I try.

NOVEMBER

Stranger Things season II came out, we binge watched, of course, and I found that LGirl looks like the character Eleven. At least, she has some similar facial expressions.  I did side-by-sides on fb to prove it. November holds National Nacho Day and McDreamy did not take light to that.  He made a 9×13 pan of nachos! It’s possible we ate 3/4 of it in one night. I went to Obisidian (a crossfit gym) in Grover Beach and loved it.  If I could afford it I would sign up.  Face The King came out with their new album!!!!  I freaking love their music. UGH.  If you do not know this band yet, I think you should give it shot.  Listen to a few of their songs.  The lead singer’s voice make me melt and the guitar player is freaking amazing.  What else? I landed a pair of solid black LuluRoe leggings!  Those are called “unicorns,” but *I* got one (at the time of writing this I actually have three pairs…)  Derek and I found Mr. Boogedy and Bride of Boogedy on YouTube and we totally watched them.  Thanksgiving was at my Maamm’s place this year.  She made a 20 pound turkey for four adults and two toddlers.  Needless to say: leftovers.  I also auditioned for my first play in 7 years,  I was cast, and at the time it hits the stage it will be 8 years since I’ve performed.

DECEMBER

You guys.  My husband MADE our babies housecoats.  He, with the help of my mother, sewed them housecoats!! I just can’t with him.  He’s so adorable and loving.  Watching him with our babies makes everything worth it. In December we learned Kboy likes to vacuum and LGirl will sit on the chair and watch him clean.  Do I sound like a fortune teller right now? haha.   We watched Big Little Lies on HBOGO.  We had a family day at Brunch On Wheels in Avila Beach.  We drank spiked eggnog in the evenings after The Bread went to sleep.  My dad BBQ’d for my brothers birthday.  My youngest brother turned 25! Another family evening was spent experiencing Cambria Christmas Market.  Where there are….hundreds….of thousands…if not millions of holiday lights up and you get shuttled to the place, and you walk around and look around, and you can buy hot chocolate, or little trinkets n things at different little shops that are opened.  Lgirl would not remain in the stroller.  She wanted out and wanted to hold her daddy’s hand.  But she did great doing that.  Kboy was happy to kickback with his feet up and see the lights exclaiming “woooowwww” or applauding while saying “yaaayyy!!!”  I wish I had video footage of him saying these things.  Hopefully my memory will keep it for me in the years to come.  Justice League came out and was fun, and Psych the Movie came out on USA.  We watched that whole series a couple years ago.  Pretty funny.  We missed those guys.  It was fun seeing them in action again doing their silly things.  Christmas morning was hosted by us this year.  Last few times it’s been at my sister’s place.  Derek made an eggbake in the crockpot which was a win for sure.  I got “gramma ingrid’s christmas morning starter kit” which was a dozen homemade cinnamon rolls that we just had to put in the oven then drizzle her homemade icing over it.  Also came with hot chocolate and spoons that dissolve…like a peppermint spoon.  a white chocolate spoon.  So. Good.  We got our babies a Jump-o-Lene.  It’s like a bounce house, kind of.  It’s round and has sides that come up so they can’t fall out.  Christmas morning they ran out of their rooms and saw it.  Kboy stared first then went “YYYYAAAHHHH” and climbed in and started bouncing.  He was shortly followed by his sister.  They jumped and jumped and jumped.  Then we put it in their room and they jumped with their cousins.  After christmas some people left and the rest of us took naps.  It was not an awful day at all.  Of course, now that I’m writing this I am reminiscing on snacking on rice crispy treats and we are currently doing the Whole30 so…the memories aren’t helping. I haven’t craved anything since we started but now that I’m thinking about treats I want some. boo.

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I used to list what books I read, but this year I didn’t really have time for reading. If I read anything it was an operations manual, a STAR magazine at midnight while everyone was asleep, or unimportant posts on fb.

This life I live now it’s…it’s very different than any other time in my life.  I don’t “make” time for certain things anymore, it’s more like time is running me over with everything that’s going on. I don’t want that to sound like an awful complaint, I mean, I married the man I love, we have twins that are ridiculously adorable and I get to cuddle and smooch ’em whenever I want.  Unless they push me away so they can go jumping.  The apartment has been painted, thanks to my mom for doing 90% of it! We have pictures up on our walls. We have food in our cabinets and fridge.  We have indoor plumbing.  These are all things my mother made sure I appreciated growing up.  I always took it as sarcasm and I’d roll my eyes and go on with my life, but she was right – don’t tell her. heh.  Making sure you appreciate basic necessities is important.  Anytime in my life, since I moved out of my parent’s house in my early twenties, that I have experienced hardship or worry I came back to…I have a roof over my head…I have food…I have clothes on my back…I have indoor plumbing…I have heat.

This life I live now it’s…it’s not something I had ever imagined.  It was not part of my “plan.”  Getting married, having babies, opening a business, working for myself.  I lived in content, but no drive.  I didn’t make goals.  I haven’t made goals in a while.  Goals eventually became place-marks where I would either say “ok, did it, now what” or “welp, I failed, now what” it was the “now what” that made it less and less appealing.

This life I live now it’s…it’s balancing two checkbooks.  Grocery shopping at 10p sometimes, kissing my family …my family… kissing them goodbye as I head out to work, then getting home in time for the last hour of the day before bed time.  Sometimes it’s a long day.  Sometimes it’s a short day.  Sometimes I have the whole day with them.  Sometimes I see them for less than an hour total in the day.  Sometimes I cry about it.  Sometimes I feel trapped in a cycle of get up , go, come back. go to bed – like everyone else sure sure sure, but this …life…i live now…it’s…well.  I’m going to quote a friend of mine I recently got back in contact with.  After playing catch-up he said “wow…what a complicated, modern-day dream story.”

I think you’re right, Aaron.

This life I live now it’s a complicated, modern-day dream story.

And in 2018 I’d like to write more about it.