The subject title is the opening line to John Mayer’s “Any Given Thursday” CD. A live taping of his performance in …..Birmingham 9/12/02. On with me I suppose…

Thursday:
I successfully picked up Kaza’s sister Terri from the Long Beach Airport by 7:20am. We got to SLO by Noonish and had lunch with Kaza and Kathy (another sister) at Firestone Grill. I went to my dadda’s house and slightly unpacked, took a shower and headed to my mommies house for a brief visit. Then by 6:20p was out the door to Daaannnnnnaaaa’s house in Los Osos then met up with BrightEyes and headed out to the Cambria Pines Lodge for Skarie-Okie. A lovely place, by the way, with a a homey atmosphere using couches and comfy chairs and a fireplace. The bartender was cool – Robert. About 5 or 6 7&7’s and a shot of Liquid Cocaine later I was tossed and Daannnnaaa drove us to BrightEyes’ car in Morro Bay, and from there BrightEyes took me to Shell Beach to Christian Clarno’s house….where Kaza, Terri, Mikey D, and Mark Robertshaw were also drinking. We hung out, I got cranky and tired so Christian graceously drove me to my dad’s house in AG at 4:30 in the morning. I woke up Friday………

Friday:
…at 11:30 called my mom and asked her to take me to my car. So after getting up, eating, and falling asleep on the couch, I woke up again took a shower and mommie came to get me at about 1:30 and took me to my car in Los Grosos. I then went to Best Buy to make a purchase and ran into Jason and Nicole Champeau, we visited for about 1/2 hour or so then I had to get going. Met up with Terri and Kaza at their mommie’s house in SLO and hung out with them for a little while. I wanted Chinese food, but didn’t get any. Called PG a few times and no call back so I went to my mommie’s house to hang more. I fell asleep and it was nice. Every time I’m over there they’re watching Lord of the Rings – Two Towers…EVERY TIME…It’s great, but funny that it’s always on. Randy (mommie’s husband) was having a moment guess he made a couple mistakes at work but it’s a new job I was telling him. Told him it’s like coloring with crayons all your life then all of a sudden someone says to use watercolors. You get the colors, doesn’t mean you can use the tools they gave you. Sometimes you won’t stay in the lines – and it’ll take a couple tries to get the hang of it all. He seemed to like it, said I had an easy going way about getting over things like that (maybe I should practice what I preach though) Told him to look at the situation and say…”meh”… and he smiled and laughed at me. Guess I’m funny. Then – met up with BrightEyes and Sergio…the Sonic Bunny in SLO and carpooled up to Los Grosos for Skarie-Okie at MerriMakers. Never been there, interesting, small, and California Karaoke is NO WHERE NEAR as great as Mesa Karaoke (Sunset Dunes). NO WHERE!!!!! Some guy was at the bar and started to talk to me (NO DEALS) asking me if I was gonna sing some James Brown or something, then on a tangent about how he was attracted to Asian looks and girls with the whole dark hair and Island look – no……. – I said “really.” as plain and boring as I could and turned away, it was my turn to sing. Then BrightEyes and I just sat somewhere else after that. Hi he was old enough to be my dad, not cute, not funny, not happening – NO DEALS! I got to my dadda’s house by about 1:40 and went to sleep, woke up Saturday at about…..

Saturday:
12noon! It was nice to have slept for so long. I had a few messages on my phone so I checked ’em. Mommie had called and Rikster (brother) had a soccer game at 12 right across the street, so I thru some real clothes on and walked over to watch him play. He’s amazing. Everything he does he succeeds at. Basketball, Soccer, Baseball, Karate, Drums! You name it, if he does it he’s good at it. He gives his all out there and I was so proud of him. I’ve been watching his sports since he was in T-Ball, it’s great watching him grow into such an astounding athlete. Later, Dana and I had dinner at Upper Crust then headed to the Theatre to watch Kaza’s closing night performance. Mommie and Myfavoritesister met up with us. All Kaza’s family was there too, I think we were the entire middle section. Kaza….she made us laugh, made us cry, made us miss the stage if we’ve performed, made some special looks only a couple of us understood, made us all EXTREMELY proud. If you were anyone in that audience you would understand. The energy was going full speed ahead and nothing would stop it. Just, amazing. THEN it was off to Skarie-Okie. An entrance we made, it was like “old times” and if you used to go to Sunset Dunes with “us” you know what I meant. The energy didn’t stop once Funny Girl was over. She brought it with her. Kaza and her smashing fairwell performance of “Cabaret” had the bar-attendees and “audience” if you will all enthrolled. Of course I danced with her!!!!!!!!! We both grabbed chairs and made our way to the center of the floor. It felt so great. It’s starting to sink in though, we won’t be doing that anymore when I come in to SLO, cause she won’t be there. So there were some moments and looks, if you were there and caught it, that became a priceless effort on our part but at the same time we both didn’t want the effort to end. Obviously when you do something for the “last time” it’s emotional and hard to put at rest. Apparently BrightEyes took a couple pics, hopefully they came out ok. All night we were dancing and jumping and drinking. And at 1:30, it was time to go. Kevin let Kaza sing the last song of the evening to close it out. He sang with her (of course for THIS particular song….it sounds mind blowing when they sing it together). They sang “Everyday is a Winding Road.” by Sheryl Crow. It was another moment you wanted your ears to make sure it computed to the hardrive of your memory so you could always go back and hear it again if you so desired. Then, I went home to my dadda’s house and Woke up Sunday.

Sunday:
October 5, 2003 was Kaza’s going away brunch. Hosted by John and Sandy Cribb in SLO, there was an amazing spread provided with lots of wine and champage for all. Friends arrived and departed all between the hours of 12 and 6, sharing songs accompanied by the lovely Linda or John Cribb. Raising money for Kaza’s Subway fare we were all singing and requesting songs and pretty much if Kaza said do it, everyone else said ok. Nearing the end of the evening and the house began to empty we gathered around the piano and I sang a song I wrote for Kaza. Too emotional to pull it off, my eyes flooded with tears and unable to hold a note I spoke the words instead. I hit some wrong keys but that’s what you get when you close your eyes to let the tears down. Afterwards, a look around the room ensured me that perhaps the words were heard as everyone was in tears reaching for kleenex. Again, it was just….a moment. But it is these moments that become memories and those memories that make us smile and recognize who we have and what we have, as well as who we will miss.

I later went to Terry Sue’s home to visit and catch up. Just a little quiet time between the two of us was deserved and I enjoyed it. And of course Skarie-Okie at Mothers Tavern, and home to Dadda’s house by 2am.

Monday:
I woke up today to my phone ringing at 7:21am. My brother Rik called to tell me he saw an Idlers commercial with Kaza in it. He was adorable in telling me all about it (well he left me a message, you know…I was sleeping) I woke up at 9:30 to solidify the schedule for the day with Kaza and Terri. We (Kaza, Terri, Kathy, and I) met up at Hobees for “the last coffee cake.” (It seems this was the weekend of “the lasts”). We visited then had to get on the road to get Terri to the Airport and me home. Kaza and Terri, of course not knowing when the next time was that they would see eachother had to say good-bye. This I know was hard. But then Kaza drove off and Terri and I were on our way to get her luggage, then my luggage then get on the road. 4 hours later Terri was at Jet Blue in Long Beach and I was on my way to Burbank. I walked up the stairs, placed my things in my room and layed down on the living room floor and downloaded the weekend to Anthony. Then I hopped online and wrote this.

Kaza’s plane leaves Wednesday October 8, 2003 at 10:40pm. Her mom and brother Chris and sister in law are going with her to New York to see that she settles herself in and she’s going to a Yankees Game at Yankees Stadium on thursday. One of her “firsts” as a “New Yorker.”

It is the next couple days that I will have to come to terms with the fact that she is leaving, and not on vacation. It is the next couple of days that I won’t get sleep, it is the next couple days that she will say goodbye to all those who love her. It is the next couple days that I’m not ready for. And even more so, I’m not ready to go back to SLO next weekend and have her not be there. This will be hard. This will be trying. However, this will pass, this will be good for her and I have to remember that. This also means that a huge part of me will feel empty and though I know strength is something I’m good at, I am weakening as the hours pass. And as the countdown lowers I can’t help but think this knot in my throat won’t go down. This churn in my stomach will not stop, and the tearing in my heart won’t heal, which inevitably brings me to the question……Should I be a part of it? New York, New York.

Catch you Kats later.