why? ……….


I cried today for apparently no reason. Yah. Cried. Then, I laughed because I was crying. I imagine it was for a combination of factors. Factors I don’t care to discuss currenlty. I called my mom, we are very much alike so she understands my random stupidy, or random tears, and – THAT DOESN’T MEAN I’M CALLING MY MOTHER RANDOM OR STUPID – it just means we are alot alike so she understands what I’m feeling when I feel like….this.

And FYI – No tickets for the John PRIVATE concert next week. To keep you updated I’ve been: 23, 87, 11, 46, 91, 15, 36, 78, 3, 33, 30, 54, 64 and 89. Yes when it’s busy I keep hitting redial. yes if I get a number like 3 I call again. Yes I’ve expressed my pain and sorrow to my favorite DJ Skip Kelly. Just because I talk to him alot doesn’t mean I get free stuff. Doesn’t mean I can “cheat the system.” I hope this answers questions. My question still remains “WHEN DO I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” p.s. the people who win are making me mad, they don’t seem excited enough like they just got, oh I don’t know a set of screwdrivers at their employee luncheon. (by the way I did and that’s why that’s funny). Thank you to all who are routing for me. I will keep trying, and we will see what happens.

I’m in need of Food Therapy or Retail Therapy and it’s HORRIBLE not having the leisure or luxury rather to just go out and do that. I am still breathing. I am still struggling. I can’t believe I did it, but I actually asked for help financially and thank you – you know who you are. I hate my life, no I don’t hate it – I just don’t like what’s happening in it right now. But “it will all work out” “it’s gonna pass” “this builds character” “I’m being tested” “a time for everything and everything in it’s time” bla bla bla, wah wah wah yah yah yah. Someone tell me something I haven’t heard, or something I don’t know. ANYTHING??? ANYONE???

My eyes hurt from lack of sleep and crying. Stupid Girl, sometimes it’s lame being a girl……..and NO it’s not “that time of the month” for ALL of you wondering. So that’s not why i’m so sensitive, or crying or whatever. Come up with a different diagnosis……..something creative, something again that maybe I haven’t heard before.


About Aiy_M

5'9" barefoot

Posted on December 3, 2003, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. the meadows
    “i open-mouth kissed a horse once….that’s something you haven’t heard” ~ oh wait a minute…you HAVE heard that.
    well, for what it’s worth, i miss you and i love you. wait…you’ve heard that before, too. i am of no help but i want to help. “and you HATE me! you ALL HATE me!”

  2. Something…
    You’re talented…which most people aren’t. You’re beautiful…which let’s face it, most people aren’t. You are capable of making me smile, WHENEVER…which let me be selfgifh for a moment, most people CANNOT do.
    I know you’ve heard that all before, but it is always woderful to hear it all again. YEs you are struggling, it sucks ass! Yes, money is tight, and believe me, in a month I will comiserate with you 100%…but just remember…you’re loved and when all else sucks, that still feels pretty damn good!

  3. Hmmm…..
    Something new…lets see….
    Life hurts sometimes because we care. Because we want to be better than what we are. Because we strive for improvement. Because we won’t settle for mediocrity. If it was easy, everyone would do it. Because we think differently. Because sometimes pain just happens. Because sometimes there is no good reason. Life is a team sport.

  4. never heard before?
    ok here’s what you do
    grab the person standing closest to you and slap the holy shite out them…..it might piss them off but it will help relieve some stress 🙂
    Love you

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