I miss having money to do with as I please and as I see fit. I want so badly to update my “Johnra” (as Kevin puts it!!) I want some new John clothes. There are new sweatshirts, and zip up sweatshirts, and jackets and t-shirts and I DON”T GET ANY OF IT BECAUSE I’M POOR AND HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WONDERING IF I WILL HAVE ELECTRICITY TOMORROW. I don’t get to see him in concert, I don’t get to buy new things and i’m pouting about it.

Yes I’m feeling very materialistic right now. On the upper side there was a brief interview with he and Jason Pullmand and Lisa Fox from Star 98.7 and he flat out said there’s no one in his life right now. And if he meets the right girl he’ll just pack up and go with her. hhm…..note to self – LOSE WEIGHT BEFORE PURSUING JOHN. wah wah wah, i know i know

“then go to the gym”
don’t have a memebership anywhere – and I can’t afford one either
“there are other things you can do”
running around my neighborhood and lifting buckets of water does not sound fun or safe, let’s keep in mind I have bad knee (this week)
“didn’t your sister send you her old workout tapes?”
yes….and? hahahaah

I’m actually not feeling all that negative about much. Yah, I want to lose weight – what’s new?
yah I’m in love with John and haven’t even met him (yet)- what’s new,
yah I’m poor and am struggling with problem after problem – what’s new?
yah my bank account is negative, has been since early december – What’s new?
Yah I could always move back to SLOville and “regroup” but then I’d feel like a failure and bla bla bla – what’s new?

So I guess this means I have nothing “new” to report. so why do I even bother writing on this thing? ???…….don’t know why I do most things and frankly – What’s new?

I’m hungry ………WHAT’S………NEW?

I HAVE NO FOOD…….WHAT’S NEW………that’s a lie i have one more box of mac n chez my mommie gave me! I’ll eat that.

I was at work today – that’s new for a saturday

“new” church I found tomorrow again – that’s sort of new

I need to buy the Evanesense CD already, I’ve been wanting that for MONTHS now

I get to film again on 2/11/04

I will be in SLO ville next weekend, maybe at skarieokie i’ll sing something…..NEW

And in closing:
If you want to laugh read karaoke_star33Kevins Journal