What is your first response to THIS? 


What’s YOUR sexual fetish?
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My mental state of mind:
is being troubled by learning to ring in, write on cups, and make things like “iced 1/2 caf quad Venti peppermint Nonfat with whip lattes”  then there’s stuff like what is the “default” for drinks like that? 2 shots? 3 shots? is THAT why we SAY and write on the cup “4” on the shots box. Espresso? Syrup? Pumps? Have a great day.  You guys can’t WAIT to hear my horror story.  I guess the only problem is I’m frustrated learning new things and Matt and Jeff were there again today.  Called ’em on their stuff and they’re like ‘what are you talking about’ ….”we’re just playing around” and I just said, I’m trying to learn and YOU need to be encouraging and less negative.  The response to that? “you need to watch your attitude”  (medium sigh) I KNOW they are playing, but I FLAT OUT SAID to stop and I go THAT.  Oh well.  I’m sure I’ll be fine throwing sarcasm around once I remember stuff like how many pumps of syrup and shots go into tall, grande, and venti whatevers.  Then there’s tea, and  iced drinks, and extra stuff. Don’t get me wrong – I’m willing to take the adventure, but doesn’t one desire a tension free, negative free atmosphere.  Today? I made alot of Carmel Fraps – that’s nice.  Learned how to steam milk, SHEISTAH if you’re not careful it goes EVERYWHERE.  So do frappucino’s if they’re blended to thick. Gotta remember to burp them.  NOW – If you have any questions regarding Starbucks do feel free to ask.  I can’t give away recipes and what not, but you know – ask away.  hahahahahahaha

My Physical State:
Fat.  Can’t work out lately because of my back.  Not that I was thin or in shape for a moment there but still.  Stretching is the only option, so I do that – but I know it’s not gonna make me lose weight.  I hate my life.

My Emotional State:
(BIG sigh) well.  I gotta tell ya, I’m a lost toy.  I thought I knew what I was doing, I thought I was fine, and I’m not.  I’m just not. I’m happy one moment, then sad the next.  Someone told me I wanted my cake and I want to eat it too.  Uh….yah – doesn’t everyone, problem is I’m looking at 2 different cakes.  I lean towards one, I’m content with my decision then I look back and the other piece looks yummy too.  THAT’s the problem.  And I KNOW that’s not fair to anyone, or either piece of cake.  It’s just that, my heart aches.  And that’s all.  My heart aches.  It’s heavy, it weighs so heavy sometimes the rest of my body follows.  I slouch, my face droops and I dont’ walk with my head up.  I don’t know what to do to fix it.  Somethings won’t go away, or change – others’ I don’t want to anways.  Somethings I want to pursue, others I don’t or can’t.  Either way I hurt, and I’m hurting others.  …………Don’t get close to me – is the best I can come up with for advice.  I’m not on fire and will burn you,  I’m not so cold that you can’t get in, think of it more as iron doors.  The room has reached capacity and no one knows what to do.  Is there a party? Are we sittin’ and having coffee? Or is it time to clean the room up a bit? 

I also want to say as my semi-advice: Don’t shut me out.  Open the communicative gates.  Talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking and in return I will do the same.  Time is all that is truly definate at this point, don’t waste anymore.

Gone to State:
The Riksters baseball team (11 year olds) are still in the state championships down south.  HOW COOL AND CUTE IS THAT.  He’s soooooo amazing that kid.  He’s good at EVERYTHING.  Baseball, Basketball, and Soccer – always wonderful.  They have to lose 2 times then they’re out of the run for it, so far they have not lost any games.  This is the first time in a LONG LONG time that AG has taken a youth team to state. 

I’m starving and have not had any food today.  I’ve been awake since……10am, it’s almost 6pm.  Time to eat already.  Leave your comments in the box, your attitude at the door, and careful…… a discussion on Lego’s is approaching via toy talk.

About Aiy_M

5'9" barefoot

Posted on July 28, 2004, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Blarg!
    “What does ‘Blarg!’ mean,” you ask? It means, I understand how you feel in the “fatness” area.
    It sucks to always feel fat, and then I look at the video of Sapphire Moon and especially my favorite number, “Oh So Quiet,” and I am disappointed.
    I expect perfection from myself, dammit!
    So Blarg! I hate feeling fat!
    That’s what I got from your entry, full of interesting Starbucks fun and youth sports stuff though it was.

  2. Eeek, work boys sound like ASSholes. Of course, I’ve been in tears at least 3 times in the last 2 months because of this asshat ex-British marine who thinks it’s _really_ damn funny to “wind me up”. So I started ignoring him and got a couple of better men than him to tell him to fuck off and now he’s much better. So sorry to be cliche but mean people just suck. There’s no reason to be an asshole, especially to someone who’s just trying to do their job, like everyone else. Damn bullies. Okay *whew*…
    Okay, picking cake is hard but what about the starving kids in Africa who don’t have any at all? Then, their tender digestive systems probably couldn’t handle it anyway…
    I’m with Amy on the fat business. Tyler and I have both put on weight in the exercise:impossible war zone. I have back flab for the first time in my life. And not only does it piss me off, I can’t stop talking about it! But I do love fried things…:D
    What Starbuck’s are you working at?

    • I Feel Sick
      Ha! Love the icon.
      For some reason I was remembering it as “I crave assmeats, bitch!” Oh well, still funny as hell.

      • Re: I Feel Sick
        Thanks! Wet Jimmy’s Gourmet Assmeats, do this be pickup or delivery! I think it was his best book, better than Johnny, I wish there were moooooore…

  3. Nope…
    I’m in your breain and in your life and hopefully in your heart and THERE WILL BE NO KICKING ME OUT!!!! No matter what. I love you

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