GREEN

??Which colour of Death is yours??
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Second day with Bear. SO HARD.  Man I like FELL DOWN once I just couldn’t hold myself on my own 2 legs anymore. Sitting in a squat position focusing on good form and my blood pumpin and my heart beatin’ then a SCREAM (kinda) and I just dropped.  He caught me but MAN my legs were WORSE than Jello. they were like….liquid – there was no sense of solidity in them.  But of course….this was all very good.  Did a warm up, abs, Arms, Chest and Back today.  Only 2 sets of things, later it will go up to 3 says Bear.  I said right now if he asked me to do another one I’d say NO WAY I’m too shaky and weak, however getting up to 3 sets will mean I’m getting better so a sick part of me is looking forward to that.  I’m totally week, I have NO upper body strenghth AT ALL.  Horrible, horrible horrible – but ….it will get better.  Remember to breath, in AND out and don’t cheat form to get the set over and done with. no deals. hahahahaha, SO HARD.  But again….very good.  I’m not allowed to say “I can’t” when I’m there with him and he keeps me focused.  I’m so excited, but its so hard when I think of the long hall that will be coming with all of this.  I just have to remind myself ONE DAY AT A TIME, and this way I’ll accomplish something EVERY day.  Good deal. Bear says we’ll measure me again in 6 weeks, thats in 5 more weeks…and I’m already nervous

Tomorrow, Cardio on my own – I’m going to the gym after the tax company, have the bag packed and ready to go. Then…Michael wants to take me out on a date….that’s so cute huh!? He’s thinkin’ Big Sky Cafe cause then I’ll eat something.  I told him no more Shells n Chez (my heart hurts i want it so bad) no more dip (this amazing chez and salsa mixture in a jar) and I must eat more fruits and veggies and protein.  So a tasty salad might do just wonderful.  I also bought some yogurt and cottage chez and fruit to keep at the tax company all during the day so I 1) will actually EAT, and 2) will eat GOOD things for me.  I lived off of coffee for breakfast for TOO long.  NO MORE says I!!

THEN saturday I’m supposed to sit in at a Preliminary Show Case in Santa Maria with my manager.  She wants me to be her client representative, so that should be fun, then the Green Apron at night, and pretty sure I’ll swing by the Dunes for a little singy-songy. Sunday is rehearsal for the dance show and then BAM it will be next week.  So, I need to not get ahead of myself too much…..one day at a time and use the time in your day wisely.

Goodnight neverland