Is timing everything?
Last wednesday the Gutterson’s BBQ’d and we had whiskey, just like everyone else. We hung out, we laughed, my friend Ari came over after work and he ate and drank and it was fabulous. Then Ari went home, and the family went to bed, it was 10:30/11pm ish. I was awake and feeling fine so I hopped in the car and drove to SLOville. I didn’t know what to expect but I decided to go to McCarthy’s. I claimed a great spot on the street right in front of the bar and walked in. It wasn’t until I walked in the bar that I started to look for him. I don’t know why, but I knew he’d be there. And he is tall, 6’5″ to be exact, so I didn’t have to search heavily a few glances should do it. I paced quickly through the main section of the bar and around the corner then outside. I glanced left, nothing, I glanced right – and there he was. Just as I remembered. Tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, and a beard – drink in hand. chuckle. I slowly approached not taking my eyes off him. He was talking to someone, a shorter long blonde-haired girl and I landed 3 feet from him with a direct facing and eyes staring. It wasn’t less than 3 seconds before he glanced up and the place blurred, like in a movie – seriously. Someone walked in front of me which blocked him from my site long enough for me to disappear if I was a ghost or a hallucination. But I stood starring. And less than a moment later he was stepping away from the girl talking to him and walked directly towards me. He hugged me and I was drunk. He smelled good, I wrapped my arms around him and the long hug turned into a brief moment of my head resting on his chest, because it can. We walked inside and he bought me a drink, of which I sipped and reminded him I wasn’t trying to pull him away from his conversation but I wanted to tell him something. And he listened. I confessed I wished I didn’t get swept away and dated The Ogre. At Caitlin’s wedding reception he was my…flirtatious person, my may as well be my date-person. I had wanted to come home from Vista after school and date him, guilty as charged. Then I got swept off my feet by someone whom I manifested-ish. I wanted someone I already knew to sweep me off my feet and be the exact opposite of Jeffrey. So i got him. It wasn’t the best conjure of a man, I wasn’t specific enough but apparently it was exactly what I wanted or needed at the time. Even the fights, though I hate them really opened my eyes to what I didn’t want, what I did want, what I was willing to acceptand what I wasn’t willing to accept. Both in myself and in others, specifically someone I’m dating or with. I stood at the bar with him and told him I was sorry and just needed to find him and tell him and today was the day. His gentle, understanding smile grabbed me and my hands equally took his face in my hands and I kissed him. I closed my eyes so tight that nothing else existed for a brief second. There was no one else around, there were no songs blaring, no lights on, no voices yelling, no glasses clinking and there was no cigarette smoke – haha. But eventually my eyes opened, my hands let go but he kept one arm wrapped around me and I let him and like it and I stayed close. Eventually the lights came on, last call was being hollered and it seemed my time was up with him. He looped my arm through his, like a gentleman, and asked if I wanted to walk around until I was sober or if I wanted to sleep at his house, and he volunteered to sleep on the couch. I told him it would be a few hours before I was sober and off we went to his house. A lovely walk.
Thursday I had to pick up my mom and take her in for some surgery, so I said thank you – kissed him more then he walked me back to my car and I left.
Friday night Caitlin, Jared, and he and I hung out at McCarthy’s. Wifey, and husband-in-law were in town for another friends wedding. I stayed out for a few hours then went home. I kissed my wife and my husband-in-law goodnight and even smooched him lightly and I went home.
Saturday I spent all day with Caitlin. We looked at clothes, gossiped, vented and went to the friends house she’s staying at. I trimmed her hair, dyed her hair and styled her hair for her friends wedding, then I changed put some light make up on, and went on a date. A dinner date. Me? Yes. We went to Corner View, I don’t recall ever have going, it’s nice. lovely lighting and some nice options. He took the fish and chips and I took the Asian Chicken Salad, which I ate with chopsticks – and quite easily if I do say so myself. We walked around for a bit and met up with Caitlin and Jared again, and closed the bar down. Both of us a little drunkie, we walked back to his apartment and slept off the alcohol.
We spent all day sunday together. Went to Louisa’s for lunch. Well – I had lunch, he had buckwheat pancakes. We walked around downtown SLOville stopping in old bookstores and random stores with sales, and then we sat on a bench with our cold beverages. Me with mango ice tea, he with pomegranite juice, and we chatted about nothing and everything. He kept one arm around me the whole time, leaning in and kissing my forehead once in a while, something I actually cherish. Eventually we walked back to where my car was parked from the night before and I drove it back to his house. I curled up in his chair and was reading a book while he did laundry. Then we watched two movies. The Quick and the Dead, and Death to Smoochy. It was a fabulous day, and I curled up next to him that night and slept safely wrapped up in his limbs.
The first week is always so wonderful when you are spending time with someone you like. Someone you quickly begin to care about and learn about. Someone who can sit with you for 3 hours and just talk and share and listen and be heard. Connecting with someone on multiple levels and appreciating your time with them. I don’t remember my time with Jeffrey to well, it was only a few years ago, but still I guess it wasn’t as imprinting as it could have been. And my time with The Ogre can be described with words like, mistake, or lesson-learned. Either way I haven’t sat and spoken with someone, a man a that and be able to carry on a normal conversation. Where opinions run a muck, debate is fun, and it all ends with a simple kiss and smile. Because at the end of the day, you care about them. Can’t remember the last time I felt like that with a man. It’s refreshing. it’s lovely, and it’s endearing.
Mr. K, I do believe I’m smitten. We’ve known each other for 10 years. We’ve been acquaintances, and friendly towards each other and it never seemed like the right time. And now, I’m leaving in 40 days to New York, but I want you to know I hope to see you as many of those 40 days as possible. And after that, we’ll just have to see what timing has in store for us.