This last monday was Memorial Day.  I didn’t have anything work related on the calendar and no major plans to be had.  But I needed a few things from Target so I woke up around the usual time…noon, 1pmish – don’t judge me!  I tend to stay awake until 4 and 5am!  So…I woke up had some oatmeal and coffee and headed to Target.  I took the 1-train uptown to the Bronx and first checked out Marshalls for shirts – no go.  And I may have found something if I wanted to dig with everyone else there, all 4,000 of them but I decided against it.  I left, dropped by the green apron for an iced grande soy caramel macchiato and went to Target.  I needed to get toilet paper, 2 red bath towels and shirts for the green apron.  I started on tuesday, so my last chance to find clothes was monday.  I found women’s polo shirts for $10 a pop so I took 4 of them and went to towels.  I found nice towels, the correct shade of red that I wanted and a decent price – since I was only buying 2 I upped my spending limit on towels.  shrug.  Then I wandered and stumbled on a espresso colored book shelf in a box requiring assembly.  It was the color I wanted and the size, and they didn’t have them the last time I was there and they are $49.99 so I had to make a choice…just then I looked up and saw the sale sign for $26 and I said DONE .  It’s mine, I don’t know how I’m getting it home but it’s mine.  It was heavy.  I used to be strong…and I’d like to think that even now I can lift heavy things..but…it was heavy.  I saw a couple gents watching me and I thought for a second what are they staring at?  then I thought…why aren’t they asking to help me?  then I realized it’s because they were just stupid and moved on with my life.  On my way to the checkout line I found cards.  I. Love. Cards.  So, with time to spare – again, no where to be, nothing to do, I mosey’d (sp?  i have no idea) about the aisles.  45 minutes later….

I got to the checkout stand fine and rang up $127 worth of stuff.  For a moment I went…but it’s just 2 towels and toilet paper…and 4 shirts…and a book..shelf…and …swipe.  The debit card went.  I had brought 2 of my own bags with me, doing my part to go green as it were, and they were full so I had them and…the book shelf.  I stared at the box and mentally prepared myself for the block walk to the stairs that led 3 stories up to the train, then I thought about the train ride and a/c, then I thought about the block and a half from the train stop to my door and the five flights of stairs to my door and of course assembling it.  Engaging abdominal wall.  I picked up the box and walked up the one flight of stairs to the front door of Target and before I could get outside a man simultaneously took the box and said “Taxi.”  Not question mark, taxi – period.  I was saved.  A gypsy cab none the less, they’re not metered they sort of negotiate a price, I guess.  I told him where I was going and he said $15 and I said YOU BETCHA.  And I enjoyed a quiet, a/c included, car ride to the my building and found out Antoan was home and he said to let him know when I got home, and he’d come help me.  And he did, and it was fantastic.

I was winded and sweaty and excited about my shelf.  I first got my laundry together, including my 2 new red towels and headed back down the 5 flights of stairs to the laundromat next door.  I started my load of laundry for $3 and walked back up stairs and gather a bowl and my flathead and philips screwdriver and hammer and b.  Well, they were Matt’s tools but I grabbed them none the less and emptied the contents of the box.  it was going to be perfect.  Exactly what I wanted.  I emptied the screws and nails into the bowl and separated the pieces and read through the directions before beginning.  It wasn’t until the timer for the clothes had gone off, 25 minutes, that I realized I had already put something on backwards and prepared myself to have to return from the laundromat and take 4 screws out.

Down the 5 flights of stairs, laundry from washer to dryer, and up 5 flights of stairs.  I’m hot, I’m sweaty, I’m in jeans.  I’m so sweaty in my jeans I can’t get them off, lucky for me my fan was blowing on me the whole time.  I got the 4 screws out, turned the piece around reattached everything.  Then…the fan broke.

swear word.

I move the fan away, the music closer and get more water.  I continue to attach pieces and the alarm goes off again.  it’s been 50 minutes already????  Down the freaging 5 flights of stairs, get the laundry, up the stairs, fold it, hang up my shirts, put the sheets back on my bed, get more water and continue to assemble this now piece of crap.  Crap, only because I’m hot and sweaty with no fan and it’s taking me too long to do.  Another half hour goes by and I’m done.  I’ve stood it up and sent a picture of it to K.  I have at this point earned more water and food.  I sit long enough to cool down enough to peel my jeans off and put on thin, light jammie pants and eat my 2 pieces of pizza.  I go back into my room and unload my DVD’s from their 6 month stay inside the boxes and happily place them in alphabetical order on their new shelf.  I step back, and I am pleased with myself.  It’s not crap after all.  Oh good.

I shower, I sleep with the windows open even though there is no breeze only humid hot air.  I go to the green apron, I come home for 30 minutes, I go to work at The Restaurant where the a/c is broken…read “broken” or perhaps they don’t pay their bill.  that’s just a rumor we have no proof ladies and gentlemen, it is …broken and I’m in my black long-sleeve shirt with a t-shirt underneath to absorb all my sweat.  I’m dripping sweat down my legs.  Hi.  I work, I  come home, and shower and have no fan to assist in cooling me down.  I sleep with the windows open…even though there is no breeze, although at least it is not nearly as humid.  That was nice.  I wake up I have coffee and oatmeal I run my errands I have  headache from the heat, I take a one hour nap and wake up staring at the broken fan.  I stare for less than a minute before I’m up and on my way to the kitchen for a screwdriver.  I take the front off, and realize the little plastic fan thing has only fallen off the piece that spins.  THAT’S IT???  So I stick it back on, press hard to try and get it to stick and screw the front back on, plug it in and literally feel…the winds of change.  I shower, I sit on my bed in my thin jammie pants and tanktop and relish in my victory using tools this week and watch a movie and wait for K to call me and say goodnight.

He calls.  We chat, we say goodnight.  I type this.

The end.