i heart

Yesterday Ro and I had our weekly girlie time.  I have found that setting aside time for just her and myself has done by heart good.

She’s lived here, in New York for seven or eight years by now, I think, and for those times we’d text and do the occasional chat over the phone.  She would visit “home” and we’d get to go to karaoke or coffee, just like we did when we were teenagers.  Moving was…is…such a big deal.  I was very lucky to have made the move to New York with such ease.  I already had a place to stay, I had a couple of friends, and I had a job waiting for my arrival.  My friends painted my room, bought me sheets and put them over a futon mattress they saved for me and some toiletries.  They babied me on the train explaining to me how to get Metro cards, how to read the maps.  Where to find placed like Target, and really good mexican food and really good chinese food.  I felt welcomed and safe, but of course, being away from the man that I loved was difficult and in the end – he ended it.  And being away from my other close friends, Seanah, Kevin & Vickie, Kitten, Amanda, Miranda among a few, being away from my family, with whom I am so very very close, my Maamm, Dadda n Terry, Sister & Double-T, Smurf, R.i.k., boyfriendjenn & honeybear, left a very big pit in my stomach.  But they had all wished me so much love and warmth upon leaving, and supported my endeavor to go after something important to me – all of this I held on to, but it was so hard to leave.  Actually leaving was easy because I was excited, staying though..staying is challenging because I miss my friends and family back “home.”

So I get to New York, and Ro & Antoan & Mattie are great. Ro would always ask if I knew had to get to where I needed to go she’d say if I get lost to call her and she’d help me, like when my mom would let me go somewhere by myself.  We watch movies together, TV together (True Blood! only what? Two more episodes this season!?), and we do simple things like grocery shopping or going to movies together, or Central Park.

There is just, something very very good and important about getting her all to myself sometimes.  Selfishly, perhaps.  And I can’t “blame” it on “I haven’t seen her!!”  We have the kind of relationship where if we don’t SEE each other everyday, it’s fine.  We remained excellent friends when she was here and I wasn’t, but now – now that I’m here, it’s a little different.  I’ve also never lived with her before.  And it’s easy, it really is.  We both see things the same in many many ways.  And she really does take care of me when I just can’t seem to do it myself.  Like, when the man I loved in California ended our relationship she let me cry to her everyday.  She’d check on me, she’d knock on my door and when I open it she’d hand me a glass of wine and smile then leave me to my wanted alone time.  Sometimes she just, knows what I need.  Isn’t that great about best friends?  That, sometimes you don’t need words.  And, Antoan had let me cry to him too, don’t get me wrong.  I live with two of my best friends.  I have known these people for twenty years.  Twenty.  And when all I could do was lay on my bed and cry, Antoan laid there with me holding my hand and running his hand through my hair and said “it’s okay, Angel.”

I digress.  I could write on the topic of love and lost love for pages.

Friends just, know sometimes what they need to do for you.  These are the people that see the best and beautiful parts, and the ugly and horrid parts of who I am as well. They house my secrets like vaults.

I trust them

And because I’m able to be vulnerable to them, and around them, they are able to fill me with joy when I need it, or let me have a good cry too.

Last night was another “date night” with Ro.  I got home from work, showered, dried my new hair cut and attempted a bit of styling and put on four eyeshadows.  Yah, four, smokey look with natural colors – just enhances my eyes and compliments my hair.  (smiley face).  She came in my room and watched me do the remaining parts of my getting-ready-ness and we chatted about work, my hair and how cool my “who cares” Care Bear shirt is.  We said bye to Mattie and headed down our five flights and over to the subway.  We chatted about work and chores and food and stupid little things and arrived at west 4th.  We headed to a bar called Stone Crow and there is a picture of John Mayer above the bathroom sink, the only reason Ro took me there ahahahh.  And Yes, my eyes brightened like a little girl on Christmas morning and I squatted down and spoke to him.  Yes, spoke to him, get off me.  Then we went to “The Liar” its where we often go, it’s her bar and now because I get to go and I’m learning the bartenders names and they are learning mine it’s ‘our’ bar.  I like being included. A few 7&7’s and we head over to a bar whose name escapes me but they have karaoke – and this is important of course.  So Ro sings Total Eclipse of the Heart and I sing Alone by Heart and we sing Uninvited together and win over everyone’s heart. =)

We are drunk.

We head back to the Liar and drink more, and then some water and it’s 4:30am and we are hungry so we go over to a 24 hour diner place thing and have breakfast.  Mattie joined us at the Liar eventually so all three of us head over and have coffee and food and take the train home.  The sun is out and I stumble to my bed and strip my clothes off and crash for six hours.

I love days off.  I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want.  Not a thing.  I can read, watch TV on with Miranda! (my computer/laptop) or sleep again.

It’s just, nice to have friends and get to spend time with them, whenever I want!  Spending time with people makes me feel loved.

About Aiy_M

5'9" barefoot

Posted on August 27, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. ❤ our care bear shirt rocks 🙂 i wore it on my birthday, you know. everyone loves it!

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