The last time I looked at a clock was last night at 9:38pm when my head hit my pillow and I made sure the alarm was NOT turned on. I woke up this morning at 10am, well rested and prepared to type a novel. So if you’re not prepared to read a novel, now would the time to move on from this entry.

Friday Morning I woke up at 5:30am and drove to the set. I watched the Sunrise at Venice Beach,though beautiful, it remained slightly unappreciated because I was tired and knew I had a long day ahead of me. In my tweety jammies and slippers I walked up to makeup and they sat me down and slapped some make up on me. Just a tinge though, with a warning that they might have to make me looke all sweaty later if I’m playing basketball. (oh boy, Basketball!!) Then it was off to wardrobe. Stip my 4 layers of warmth off to place 2 T-shirts on and a pair of blue terry cloth capri pants. I got to sport of my silvah and white sketchers though, that was cool. NO LOGOS. A big deal on the independant film, right down to tearing off the water bottle labels, I guess we’d have kept them on if they sponsored the film. Then back over to hair. I had flat ironed for them that morning so she just needed to put it half back or whatever. Then it was over to the court where 98% of the shooting was taking place. It was still pretty chili so the majority of us had on sweatshirts and jackets until the last minute then we’d take ’em off real quick and get to our marks.

We shot the opening seen,and though I signed a contract stating I won’t tell anyone the storyline, or ANYTHING, you already know I play basketball and this was it. So the cameras started off towards the game, rehearsals rehearsal then filming, then the crew moved all around for a different angle. This time they faced me and my approach to the game, rehearsals, rehearsals, then filming. Then move the crew all around again while they shot close ups and me and the guy I was having a conversation with….rehearsals, rehearsals, and filming. I heard “sound!…Sound speeding…..Cameras!….camera’s rolling ….then a guy would go infront of the camera and state the seen with the slate and run out of the picture and the director yelled …Action!” and, I gotta tell ya…..it was pretty cool (wink) Oddly enough during rehearsals the first time I had touched the basketball I made it in, but every time we shot I didn’t. Got pretty damn close though, and for only ever playing like in P.E. in High School I guess I was doing ok. I had to try to remember how the Rikster plays, but he can dribble the ball and look where he’s going at the same time…where as *I* …if I take my eyes off the ball – I’ll lose the ball. lol. So I guess watch for that! hahaha. I felt kinda stupid after awhile, the director would say cut rush over to me and tell me how he wanted me to come across and we’d go for it again. But I guess I wasn’t capturing it. I got lost between trying to be annoyed, and brusk and slightly flirtacious. Then while not filming he caught me and the guy I’m talking with…his name is Jeff (in real life)horsin’ around like karate moves and stuff then I just got in his face and was really harsh, and we started laughing, he came over and said “like that” and smile and said “let’s go again.” So I looked at Jeff and said….ok, and went back to our first marks. Then….enters Aiyani – the sarcastic, slightly annoyed, brusk, flirtacious tall but totally over Jeff looks. I looked at him like he was stupid then when I was about to shoot gave him a silly girlie smile and shot the ball. Made the shot, Richard (the Director) ran over said “just like that” and we did it again. So we did “back to one” yells Robert (pretty much the guy who yells out everything)We did it again, the same way and Richard yelled cut and came over and gave me a hug and said perfect” and nodded his head and said “that was it” smiled and walked back over to where he was watching what the camera’s filmed. Then it was move the cameras and do it again from another angle. And I guess by now you know how that goes.

Venice Beach people: The board walk is something I’ve never seen. I saw a man on roller blades wearing a turban playing an electric guitar roaming around. Lots of couples…”honey take a picture with me in front of the bathroom” that was wierd. people in leather, man it hot, but there they were. Moms in dresses roller blading while pushing strollers. Joggers, skaters, surfers, old people in wheel chairs, young people with squirt guns (kaza reads: kids who climb on rocks), Lots of guys playing on the basketball courts that were all over the place…and not one of them had an ounce of fat on their body. Girls in shorts and bikini tops, groups of guys walking by checking out the groups of girls with little clothing on. Guys with tight curly hair and beards with yamaka’s (I have NO idea how that is spelled) on. I guess the wierdest part was watching each person go by, stare at what was going on. Some would look until they couldn’t see anymore while skating by, others stopped to see if they would see someone famous. People who took pictures just because, my only guess is “hey my trip to LA they were shooting a movie and I got some pictures” but alas there was no Brad Pitt, or Julia Roberts, but the crowds insisted on watching in wonderment. And all that did was make me say “huh, look at that” and there would be the moments when someone would smile and say hi, and I’d say hi back or nod and so would the other actors and that seemed interesting and cool too. But……I’m a nobody….why are they saying hi to me??? that’s all.

side note: the guy who was doing the slating of the take and scene and what have you was kinda cute. And he’d place tape down for me as my mark so the cameras would get me where they want me in focus and what not,and he had leaned down to place tape by my foot and when I said “thank you” he sort of looked at me surprised, glanced quickly from left to right, then back at me and smiled and said “you’re welcome” Ok….but it was a REALLY cute smile he threw at me. And I think I turned red. which just made me laugh. And throughout the day I’d just sort of watch him for a couple seconds and he’d look right over at me and smile slightly and glance back down to what he was doing. More on him in a moment

So now we’re done with that scene, I’m sure I said “give me the ball” 117 times if not more so I’m kinda glad that’s over with. But it was awesome to do it EVERY TIME I DID IT. It’s a pretty cool feeling all around to have make-up people rushing up to me and touching me up, hair people rushing up to spray or bobby pin any fillies that fly and having people run and get water or a sweatshirt or whatever. It’s pretty cool to have cameras around shooting something I’m a part of, and civilians walk and stop to see what’s going on and take pictures. Yah, it’s all pretty damn cool. Now I’m not needed for a little bit so I’m shoved into the shade so as to not burn like some of the white boys out there hahahahahaaa, and make-up slaps more sunscreen on me. I’m cool, I’m hanging out with the guys and watching what they film. Then it’s lunch time at 1ish and Subway was provided for us….yay!!! I go grab my camera and took some pics of my fellow actors since I’m not allowed to when we’re on the set and I’ll show you those when they’re developed. about 1/2 an hour, 45 minutes later it’s time to go again. Same outfit, same day, different scene. same sounds of “sound speeding….camera’s rolling…..action!” IT’s soooooo much fun!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess some of the wierd stuff is listening to people talk about themselves and shows or films they’ve been apart of. They’d ask me and I wouldn’t really go into it. I’d tell them I did musicals for about 6 years before moving out here. Yes I want to act full time, No I’m not yet – its a work in progress. I don’t need to brag or not brag about my experiences. They gotten this far, and that’s all.

The biggest joke of the day with me and the other boys and Sammy (the other girl) was the script read “She lurches her 250 pounds onto the court” and I kept saying it and saying it. No I’m not 250 pounds, but I told them that’s what they think of me
and bla bla bla, so anytime someone was sassy I’d say “careful, I will lurch my 250 pounds on to you and you will be broken.” It was all fun and games.

Now, it’s a different day so change my shirt – i get to sport the same pants though, the guys had to change bottoms. hahahaahha. I don’t know why that’s funny. This I don’t talk at all, but I’m there. So I’m talking with Sammy making up stuff to do, cheering the guys on and what not and we do this ALOT, because of the different angles. I’m sitting on the bleachers then standing and walking away from them, then sitting, then standing. ……Then I’m on the court again. Now this is funny…..1. I don’t play basketball, so 2. I have to fake it, but 3. not playing, but faking it and trying to not hit cameras and other equipment is very challenging. lol, So I’m “blocking” some guy then someone else get fouled and we have to stand around him at some ____throw line while we ask him questions and he shoots while answering. And there’s this moment where he’s talking (I can’t tell you what he says) but he looks over at me and says them. Now they’re not TO me but he says them AT me, and can I say “melt.” Thanks, um…..yah, every girl would melt if a guy looked at her like that. And if/when you see it or I LET you see it, you’ll see what I mean. hahahahah, thank you melt, thank you butterflies in stomach. It totally threw my jig because I didn’t know he was going to do it and I don’t know if you’ll see my reaction but it was real everytime he did it. And we do this a few times because we have to get shots of who’s talking when we ask him questions, right? right. so of course he does it EVERY TIME, oh the “horrible” life. hahahahaah,

another side note: So while we’re changing angles and what not “Jeff” the slate guy (not the other Jeff that I play basketball with) is standing waiting to slate the scene ….I smile at him. But he doesn’t see me right away, but I keep looking at him and smiling. Then he looks right over at me and I’m smiling and he looks away but back and looks around and looks at me questioning who I’m looking at. and I just say “yah, i’m smiling at you.” and he kind of laughs and say “oh ok” and I say “sorry? i won’t do that” and look away and he laugh more and says “no it’s ok” and then I laugh and I’m in Junior High….”hey give him this note and ask if he likes me” hahaahaha, it was fine and dandy for a couple more hours when he looked up one time and had smiled and I said to myself ” he looks kind of like Tyler!” then started to laugh at myself. and I felt like, am I allowed to keep looking at him???? Is that wierd??? I just thought it was funny. I took a picture of him and some other crew guys too, so if it comes out well I’ll post it. Then you can tell me what you think.

Now the sun has gone down, the sunset at Venice beach is somehow different to me than that of Grover, or Pismo. The water looked a lighter blue against the pink and orange sky. I stood with my arms tucked into my shirt on the cement step and Jeff (yes the one I play basketball with) came over and asked if I was ok. Guess I had disappeared quietly and when they looked up I was gone. I told him yes, but the ocean made me think of home and my friends. That I normally only see it when I’m going to go see them and I just was sort of missing them and wanting them all here with me. He just smiled and nodded and gave me a hug and said “they think of you I’m sure.” that was nice. We “wrapped” for the day at about 5:15 and we signed out with wardrobe, hair and Shana Lina (sp?,….shawna leena sound) she kinda kept track of everyone and tells us where to go and when.

And by 5:30 I was in my car and Jeff (basketball Jeff) walked up to my car window and asked if I was going to go out and play with everyone else tonight. I told him no, I didn’t have the money or any cute clothes – and I don’t really leave my house unless I absolutely have to. I don’t like to torture people with how I look right now. He told me to shut up – and put his number in my phone so we could go play sometime. So I did. I laughed of course, he’s a funny guy, but I did as I was told. I’m needed for shooting again I believe on the 7th but we’ll probably hang out before then. He’s fun and funny – that’s a nice change in the boys out here.

other kids in the cast – their real names: Lamont – tall black man, strong build apparently everybody else thought he was developing a crush, I didn’t see it. Brett sort of reminded me of Ethan Embry, Peter is tall pushing 6’5″ and helped me understand what I should be doing while “playing basketball” though he didn’t know much either – he knew more than me. Damien tall skinny black guy, pretty funny – would say things but I didnt’ know if he was kidding or not. Maybe I’m just gullable…whatever. Ignacio – italian…the one that made me melt for a moment there. Lucas – tall boy next door with blue eyes, very …nice. A kind bloak, which I appreciated as well as his tips on shooting – actually assisted me in making the shots that I did make. Samantha – 4’11” made me look like I was 7 feet tall was funny and she looked 12 and though none of us got her real age, she assures us she’s older than any of us think. She’s very cute and girl next door, a winning smile and a trooper for showing up at sunrise as well.

The Producers Assistant whom I only caught of few of there names, were all helpful. From making sure people were not running into the shot to running and getting blankets and water or what not. maybe that’s their job but I wouldn’t say it loudly – I’d just say “i’m a little chili” and 2 seconds later someone was throwing a jacket over me. Jeff (slate guy, the one who reminded me of Tyler) had a magic belt on, I swear if someone needed something he could pull it out of that belt, fun to flirt with too.

And some of the crew wanted to know if I had trained in Martial Arts and tap dancing….apparently it was recognized that while waiting to film I’d tap and while not waiting to film I’d pretend to fight with some of the guys. All fun and games – and no one got hurt. but I was a little embarrased – I didn’t think anyone was watching me horse around. hahahaha, oh well!

And then the drive home. 38 miles in 2 hours…..the drive there was only 40 minutes but I was awake before most of LA. I kept awake by talking with BrightEyes who called and discussed some random stupid lady at work that was a TEMP and bossing her around like my DOS…..no deals. Then Seanah on the phone too, then John in the car and the break lights and head lights made the streets look like Christmas but the smell of exaust took that away quickly. Then I was home. Checked my email and crashed out before 10.

My feelings now? More positive. I’m perhaps on my way to more than I had thought. This is a GREAT experience, I HAVE accomplished more than I thought I would in my first year out here. It’s just moving forward now. And not stepping back, and being prepared for more hard moments, but looking forward to the more fun moments as well. I may find some grace and peace yet, and maybe these cheeks will not hold the salt of my tears as much as they have previously. I may find a firmer ground now that I actually tried walking in quick sand and didn’t fall all the way down. And though money and jobs are either not of abundance as of yet, it’s a work in progress – and I know no one said it would be easy and everyone said it would be hard….I need to go through this my way, not theirs.

You as my dearest most precious friends and my wonderful loving family remain my support network to get up each morning and do SOMETHING.

So thank you for who you are, and who I am because of you.