“Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I’m through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep. it’s time to trust my instincts, close my eyes….and Leap.”

You ever have one of THOSE days, where you fee like the world is SO gettin an ass-whoopin. Like WATCH OUT, here I am! Look out Tuscon!” Ever have moments where you’re so confused, but once you decide it wasn’t that difficult after all?

yah – this is not one of those days,but I think I’m close!! Like the first step in a program is ‘admitting you have a problem’ – so there. i’ve done that, now what? Now I’m supposed to

“close my eyes and leap – it’s time to try defying gravity”

We can take this a few ways. We can take it as, literally – or not so literally.

If we decide to defy gravity, and drop those who keep us tied down somehow – is it worth it? Is it worth the risk of being the outcast? or the wicked one? the one who dropped the ball, or whatever. I guess it really starts with, what makes it so wrong? What’s happening that forces us to drop the ball, or give up, or fly away? What was so disagreeable that it wouldn’t have worked no matter what? Do we ever get to really know? I mean, wicked is wicked – good is good right? WRONG. what if what is right…..IS wrong….for the long run, or what everyone says IS right – ends UP being wrong and you end up with all this regret and wasted time and wah wah wah. AND AND AND, what if we do what everyone else says to do, we just doing it cause we can’t make decisions ourself? what does that say about us? What does that say about our beliefs and what we feel in our hearts? It is these thoughts that make you want to get up and maybe make a difference, maybe leave your mark – or attempt to and if you don’t try you’re stuck with what could’ve been, or what could’ve happened.

“I’m through accepting limits, cause someone says they’re so. Some things I cannot change, but til I try I’ll never know.”

If you don’t get up every morning and say – today is a brand new day. somethings wrong. And to tell ya the truth, somethings wrong with me. Days just go by so fast and I’m in bliss, then I’m in trouble, then I’m happy, then I’m hungry – but I dont’ do anything for ME, to know that *I* did something today! Something important, or something positive. I sit and sulk and wonder about…..things. ….Things I wish I would’ve done differently, things I think i could still change. Then I go – GET OVER IT IT”S IN THE PAST. But is it? And is it so horrible to want to go back? Nah, the thought of going back is fine, but sulking because you can’t – no deals.

Get up, do your thing for the day, but make it a good thing. Cut your strings spread your wings and fly. And who CARES if someone or everyone thinks you’re wrong or evil, or wicked. You’re doing what YOU think is important

“….as someone told me lately everyone deserves a chance to fly. And if I’m flying solo – at least I know I’m free, to those who ground me take a message back from me. Tell them how I am defying gravity, I’m flying high defying gravity…..”

Enjoy yourselves, get up, learn, teach, do, and remember sometimes you can’t be with the ones you love, but you can love the ones your with. Don’t take anyone or anything for granted. There is a time for everything, and everything in its time.

Kaza comes home in 16 days, and I see John in 10. I have to go to La La Land tomorrow – got a call back for a film I auditioned for last week. Have a substitute phone, same number though. So that’s that.