It’s Called “Phat Girlz” ok? is EVERYONE happy now. And I was up for “a shopper!” wow – I know. Don’t be mean, don’t ask me anymore questions. I had to read the sides (part of a script)and it was about me being jealous of this other girls outfit, finding out she made it then wanting her to make me one, or convince her she should sell her stuff because it’s THAT good. ok? we good? good. NOW….

The drive there wasn’t as horrible……that’s a LIE. Traffic in Santa Barbara AND La La Land – go there in time for rush hour, love my life. Got to my callback a 1/2 hour later than I was slotted at, but they were find with it and welcomed me in and asked how the drive was. I did my thing, then left – it was less than 7 minutes from signing in, going up and slating myself (look in camera say name) and reading the sides and leaving. It takes longer to pump gas. BUT – it’s what I chose right? ….so that happened.

Got to Bobby’s house (my friend Bobby from Ohio that played at me and Antoan’s house like everynight before I moved away) and met his friend Bob and bob’s friend Bill. It was a B night I guess – that and Vodka. Vodka shots first – ewe, I can’t stand Vodka by itself. Then Vodka and some juice Bobby had, then Vodka and pepsi – cause that’s what was left besides milk. (milk, Jax….ps what’s the dealio with that?) hahahahaah – anyways. So we got drunk and were planning to watch Along Came Polly and Monster – neither of which actually got my attention. I had ramen around 2am and an egg and sat with Bill discussing him singing with some vocal jazz group in Spain – they were on tour apparently. Guess that’s cool. Bobby went for a swim around midnight – had to watch him and make sure nothing happened, I wasn’t tossed by then but I wasn’t going to drink until he was done with his swim thing. Bob is a bit vulgar, his jokes are potty, petty, or gross. But funny all the same – my mommie wouldn’t like his sense of humor though. Went to sleep around 3am, called Michael like 50 times among other random people, poor adam from the band i brought home – i think i woke his housemates up……oh WELL! And plantboy i’m sure understood my slury “hi it aiyani and i’m drunk and saying hi” or whatever message i left him. meh.

Woke up today around noon, bill left around 10am, bobby and bob and i were scattered over the couch and bobby’s bed. We ate at Coco’s then I got on the road at 3:30…….didn’t make it HOME TIL 7:30 – whatever.

Next saturday is John in July – been waiting on this for a while. Adam said he’d ask his friend Erik (plays trumpet FOR JOHN ON TOUR…..i hate my life) if I could go see the one in Mountain View (S.F area)on friday, so we’ll see. If not, I still get to see him with Bobby, Daaaannnaa and Brighteyes – can’t wait!!!! It will be my 7th time seeing him in concert, and if i could I’d see him in Chula Vista on Sunday, but alas…..that is not the case.

SO – I’m having these feeling of inadequecy (sp? no idea) like I’m not good enough for things. For people, for myself for whatever. And therefore I depress myself. Than it’s like what’s the big deal??? Why do I have to make EVERYTHING such a BIG friggin’ deal. I have these feelings that I can’t express, if I do people get hurt, if I don’t *I* feel hurt and smothered in my own thoughts. Like I have no real outlet…..paging kaza, Kaza report to the barn please. Kick the boys out, grab a blanket and some nailpolish and I’ll get the ice cream…with 2 spoons. Birdcage in the background and we need to talk about this heart of mine and why it feels whole one second and the next split in 2 directions. No deals. After all, I’m going to marry John Mayer anyways right? right? anyone? no? hhmm….. – that’s a work in progress.

and now….the notes:

My friend ~ A time for everything and everything in it’s time. Know that my world feels incomplete without you in it. Friends are supposed to last forever, this is why we want to end up with a friend, I think. This is why we long for words and communication. In the middle of trying to find yourself, well myself, I don’t want to lose sight of what I think IS important, and I don’t want you to either. It’s good to hear your voice, when I do, and it’s nice looking forward to time where we can hang out, talk, or watch movies, or maybe just sit and veg-out because it’s comfortable to do so.

Mahroomah~ a;lfjsefoija – PG found a flight for under $350 so I’m working on it I’m working on it. I know time is a cruncher – but have faith! I’m trying to. Nahnnah said auditions for Wicked are tomorrow – GO! I know you will, but still – GO. And I know i’m supposed to call you, I WILL.

Brighteyes ~ sorry I didnt’ get your voicemail til today. did you get mine?

Jax~ Dairy? the whole world is wondering NOW

Tyler ~ man, you are a funny guy. Witty, silly and you definately have a way with words, hi jayme.

Kevin & Brighteyes ~ sorry I didn’t show up to skarieokie on tuesday, I know I said I would – had to take care of a mini situation. I know you love me still, and I’ll see you tomorrow night.

Judy ~ a part of me longs for you to feed me the forbidden fruit. lol – that’s all.

Loke ~ I’ll ALL over it!!!! I can’t wait! and….will I see you tomorrow night too? Jim gonna play too??

Rookie ~ (slaps belly) thank you for our conversation yesterday, it helped more than you know.

Sapphire Moon revisited players ~ I’m sorry I had to back out of the show. For my own reasons, nothing against ANYONE in the cast, there is NO drama – just a timing thing. Am I still allowed to hang out with you guys?

My substitute cel phone refuses to charge, or hold a charge after it charges even a little, so i keep it off so I can have it in the event there is an emergency. I still check for messages though.

That’s all. Have a great night – I’m gonna watch “That Thing You do” And for those of you who want a tidbit of roomah speak:
oneders = got it
guypatterson = wonderful
pittsburgh = excited (sometimes), like I can’t spit out your thought that is so exciting, so I say….pittsburgh

Good night Neverland, Toy talk is happening SOON and I can’t wait.