three words

Starting tomorrow I have another acting teacher.  I had Foss for first semester, Susan for 1/2 of second semester and heidi for the rest of this year.  Something we often have to write and share is “who am I” and the focus is on what’s going on with me right now in my life in my world.  this is what I wrote and what I will read to the class tomorrow:

Who am I?

Even though I believe there is a time for everything and everything in its time, I still feel gypped somehow, like there are pieces missing, pieces that were left behind.  And now I am this person gathering new pieces, pieces that everyone else tells me will surely assist me in being the person I want to be, but how would they know, after all who do they think I am? What do they think I want to be?? – I still ask too many questions and I don’t like to participate, that’s a lie, I do that with my friends that know me – my friends that have known me for years.  I trust them.

Right now I’m in love, and I’ve said that many times before and I even meant it – once.  It’s like feeling nervous but in a good way, and feeling nervous is a new feeling for me as well.  I’m giggly lately and tired at the same time and frustrated.  I’ve become a person with a messy room and a car that looks like I live in it.  I’m still organized though, I think – well writing everything down helps.  I still love mint n chip ice cream and I still feel like I’m the person who likes to sing defying gravity, but at the same time I’m still scared of trying to do so – that Michael Jenkinson either loves me and wants to challenge me or hates me and wants me to cry and leave the school.  Deep down I think I know the truth.

And deep down I know my truth and I know I don’t share it with many people.  I’m still closed off, and I’m aware of it.  Deep down trust is still an issue and it won’t change over night because someone told me “I must” or “I should.”  I’m learning, still learning.

I’m 5’9’’ barefoot and I like rice and pretty much anything having to do with rice, I filed my taxes already this year and have successfully spent my return already on things I needed and things I simply wanted. 

Right now my patience feels worn thin and I wish my body would catch up.  I’m the same height as Jennifer Garner and we have the same birthday, which to me says I’m destined to look like her.  Right now I feel like I attended a Life Seminar and instead of taking notes I recorded it and listening to the playback its at 78 and I can’t figure out how to make it play at 45, which in a less metaphoric way means I feel full of knowledge yet I feel like things are moving to slow.  BUT I have a clear view on one thing; my experiences are what I make of them.  Whether positive or negative I have the ability and freedom to choose how I approach anything.

I’m still no one to be trifled with
I’m still Inigo Montoya
I’m still the man on the flaming pie

About Aiy_M

5'9" barefoot

Posted on March 13, 2006, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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