Today we started rehearsals for the remount of Beauty and the Beast.  Everyone stood up and said their name, and what roles they played.  i heard things like “Silly Girl Number 2 and Napkin.”  It seems fun and silly, then you hear someone say “Villager, plate and wisk” and you think . . .when in life do you ever say that, then it was “My name is Aiyani I’m a villager, the ever seductive cheese grater, I’m still understudying Bryn for Babette and I’m still a female swing” then you hear mumbles of people and an applause from a couple.  It just made me laugh. 

What the hell did I agree to???  Oh well, I’m told to remind myself this is a Disney Play and I’m getting paid so I should keep that in mind.  And to those of you who extended that reminder, thank you – and I have kept it in mind.  In face one of the cast members/one of my class mates asked me how I felt about this place.  If my feelings changed at all, . . .meaning – am I or am I not returning for my second year (shut up LM) ANYWAY. . I told him the difference between school and this is during school. . . I’m going into debt to feel like a babysitter, listen to gossip (when I don’t want to) and here, . . they’re paying me to do it.  So I’ll probably have a different attitude this summer.  I take care of my business for my paycheck and I let others worry about their stuff. Yes we are an ensemble and should help each other out, but i won’t have to compete for rehearsal time for a partner who’s crying over a breakup, or they just found out so and so is sleeping with so and so and they’re jealous.  Nor will I have to compete with I’m drunk, I’m tired, I’m high.  I show up, do my job, then leave.  By the way. . .I didn’t really run into those problems with MY scene partners but it circulated the conservatory enough to keep me guessing what was gonna happen next, an unnecessary movement of stress.

I went to the gym today.  40 minutes of what I would call “high intensity” on the olyptical machine, something Bear would probably call “moderate intensity.”  Those trainers always want you DRIPPING in sweat.  It doesn’t count that I AM sweating, only if its constantly dripping. Today starts my 6th week of Weight Watchers.  I’ve supposedly lost 4 pounds.  My mom? lost 4lbs this last week.  I just keep reminding myself, i’m just NOW starting to work out, and I’m just NOW started to ease up on my ice cream and alcohol intake.  I’m sure this will eventually appear on the scale.  I’m also meeting with a trainer name John next friday for an orientation to the gym so he can walk me around the weights and tell me how to use machines and stuff.  Yes I already know how, but you haven’t seen this gym.  I’ts HUGE, I don’t wanna get lost looking for a machine – I need to know where I’m going so my heart rate doesn’t drop.  My target “in zone” rate (according to my new-to-me polar heart rate monitor) is between 125 and 164.  I’m normally averageing 145 – 149. 

I’m a bit tired, and where I originally was going to treat myself with 1 cup of ice cream ( 2 points per 1/2 cup) I now feel a bit too tired to truly enjoy it, and think I’ll save it for another day.  Perhaps some water, then I’ll wash my face, brush my fangs (as my dadda always said) and climb into bed and read before passing out by 12:30am. 

ps. it is now 12am – I’ll see cleveland in 44 days.