um. . . so. .
Cleveland will be home in 18 days. I went to visit him last monday. I left at 4:40am and got to Santa Rosa by 10am. We had breakfast at IHOP, tootled about the mall, saw “Cars” and then met up with Lynda and Miss Elzon for about a half hour. It was lovely to see people I like. Out of all the people I met this last year I only really connected with a few, and most of them went to Santa Rosa this Summer for work. wah wah wah.
Beauty and the Beast is going well. We opened in Solvang on June 16th and we close July 16th. . . i think. . . 17th? 16th. . .somewhere on that weekend. There are somedays when I am proud to be apart of the cast, when we take our bows and we’re thanking the audience for being there. After all, if no one shows up, we don’t have a reason to put these shows on right? So there are few times when i’m proud to be there and taking my bow as an ensemble member, and few times where I just want to be home with Cleveland watching Alias or a good movie. Where. . . I’d rather be at the gym. One of the better things about this is my dresser Amy. She’s so helpful and fantastic and she just plays along with me and my goofyness when diving into the cheesegrater outfit. The Cheese Mistress.
STGA is rough on my stuff sometimes, but only because I try to do too much by working, going to the gym as much as I can and then getting on a bus at 6pm for an 8pm show and not home till midnight almost every night. But I need the money. I need to find another way to earn money. Suggestions? Working from home would be fantastic, what about mystery shopping – that would be fun probably.
Weight Watchers. I’m in the middle of my 9th week and have lost 12.5 pounds. I have really great days, pretty good days, and not too bad days. I haven’t a “bad” eating day in these 9 weeks. By that I mean I didn’t throw away the day to everything that is bad for me. I make good choices for all of my meals, as best as i can for the situation I’m in. Like when I went to see Cleveland , we went to dinner and I ordered grilled chicken and veggies in a wheat tortilla and I didnt’ have any of the chips and salsa they brought us. However. . . every night the ushers at Beauty have cookies, I always take one to be polite then I normally give it away. This weekend I think I ate 2 cookies 3 nights in a row. They may not sound like alot, but it feels like alot when you take the time to plan your meals and prepare something good and tasty and you go to the gym, you feel like all of it. . .i mean ALL of it is for nothing if I have those cookies. But I don’t punish myself too much, . . not TOO much.
And for those who keep track, Cleveland and I changed our wedding date to July 14, 2007.
And I’d just like to take a moment to vent a little bit about some people, no – someone asked ask questions like “are you sure he’s the one?” and they ask because I’ve had the date “july 7, 2007” in my mind for almost 5 years. Always thought it would be cool to get married on 7/7/07, i also thought that would be me and John Mayer’s wedding date. So take it for whatever you want. some people, well, a certain person wanted to make sure that I just wasn’t choosing him out of convenience because I wanted to be married by then. And these questions have been circulating in my mind since they said that . . in december. . . “Do you know me at all? who do you think you are to say that to me? how shallow do you think I am” And all I could think of was maybe they were just jealous that I was swept off my feet with no effort. No crazy drama to find that happy place with someone. We didnt’ have to work hard to stay together, and though that may sound prematture since we’ve only been together since late november, we weren’t brought together by drama, and we’re not held together by drama. I don’t feel like I should have to appologize for being happy in a relationship when I didn’t have to work hard to get happy. I feel lucky. I feel complete somehow and stronger and smarter. I communicate better with him, I reach out to him to explain why I say things and how I really mean them and we work together to find our solid ground. The other men in my life, I would push them away and tell them they were wrong and wait for them to apologize, and they always did. Whether they did to just stop the drama or because they meant it I don’t know, and I don’t care. I care about my Cleveland, i care about our life together now and the life we are going to have together. Its not my fault some people have to go through crazy drama or years and years to get engaged, married or just be happy, its just not my fault that I’m simply happy with Cleveland. Things happen in our life for a reason. Maybe I’ve had my share of “boy drama.” and what’s also important is I refused to put myself in a position where there would be MORE drama. I just didn’t think I needed to work that hard to be happy with someone. I love him, I’m IN love with him and not out of convenience, or obligation. Because he’s wonderful, and charming and smart and funny and handsome and thoughtful and genuine. He’s the one i can’t imagine being without. he’s the one I want to see before I go to sleep and wake up to.
And for once, I’m not hungry at the end of a journal entry. I need to change my laundry over, drink more water and rest