the right thing to say. . . (a letter)
To my close friend,
I’d love to tell you “there is a time for everything, and everything in its time” because for a long time I believed it.
I’d love to encourage you to “just be.” don’t worry about the future, or the past just stay present, because for a while it helped me to stay still and in the moment and appreciate that moment for exactly what it was, when it was.
I’d love to remind you that “everything happens for a reason” because if I don’t remind you to say it as a mantra, then I’m also lying to myself
I’d like to think the phrase “I’m here for you” would suffice somehow because hearing it from people I care deeply for has pulled me through moments like this in my life knowing they were in the wings, in the audience and standing behind me as my backup during one of the most difficult spotlights to fill…..that was pretty profound and fun huh? ….
I’d like for you to remember that “there is a lesson to be learned here” because every time I’ve had an experience that ended poorly or left me in discomfort or ill contented…somehow the lesson learned really was important.
But more than any of that, I feel I need to tell you this:
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry that this world of drama and hardships hasn’t stopped for you yet. That somehow the Higher Power continually tests your strength and your heart.
I’m sorry I cannot be the person to fix it, and that a person who can fix it does not actually exist unless you count the person you see in the mirror
It is okay to cry
It is okay to mourn
it is okay to think of what may have been
It is okay to love and hate at the same time
It is okay to be confused and hurt, because that is real.
This is really happening and you didn’t want it to, and I know it.
There will always be multiple sides to this story, but you only need to worry about yours – for now.
Maybe we rush into things. I mean that figuratively and literally. The both of us. Our experiences in life before we met and during our brief time getting to know each other have shown me how similar we really are. Maybe we so badly want one thing, we are willing to settle for something else. Maybe at the time it was right, and rightnow is different.
There will be more risks for you to take
There will be more hardships for you to survive
There will be ….
And after that, you’re going to get up in the morning and go about your new routine.
After this you will have new scars, but new eyes as well.
You will have new surroundings, but it will be familiar
You will have a new start and a new story even though the cast may remain the same in some places and roles.
This is the part where I would want to say “Its all going to be alright” but really, the truth is….. I know as much as you do about what is next, and I’m just as scared, and I’m just as sad, so what I CAN say is
“you’re not alone”