It’s been a hell of a week and a half. So much negative crap is happening I’m hoping it’s all over and done with now. From getting fired to a flat mate slash Best Friend of 10 years, and we had known each other for 15 years moving out with zero notice and deleting me from his life. All because he couldn’t pay rent and in the end I said things like it was petty for him to take the broom because "he" bought it. When I know it’s just going into his storage or his mom’s garage or attic or whatever. He said I wasn’t a true friend because I didn’t understand his side, I said I DID understand I just think it would have been more responsible to give ANY notice. Not "i have to move out – and i’m doing it TODAY"

surprise!

I recently changed my look. I on the occasion sport "sterling grey" contacts that make my eyes a greyish blue, it’s fun. And I went to Ashley at Roxy Salon and said "can you make me look different?" she said yes, what are you looking for and I said "red with blond streaks!" and she said okay – and did a great job and I LOVE IT

Mark and I have become one of those couples that break up and get back together. I’ve never done this, so it’s tiring but I also feel like I want to / need to try everything before giving up. One day I can’t stand him, the next I can’t stand to be without him. I’ve never been jealous or insecure until we started dating. Some people say it’s because the way my marriage ended, others say it’s the first time I have felt so strongly about someone that it would genuinely bother me to see them with someone else, or know they are speaking to someone else. Before I just would shrug it off, roll my eyes or have the "whatever" attitude. With Mark, I can’t stand the though – most days. Few and far between days I get very, um…psychotic and wanna know who he’s on the phone with, who he’s chatting with and who he’s texting. Those days he stops what he’s doing, looks at me and says "you’re the only one." and he’ll stare at me and smile genuinely. If he can tell I’m still bothered he’ll stop what he’s doing and come hold me and cuddle with me. I hate that that part of me exists but at the same time I really appreciate that he doesn’t hurt me and say "you don’t need to know" or "she’s just a friend" he just stops and re-secures me, if that makes sense.

Home life is different with just us living together. We are both different. Maybe it was somehow because they gents would fight over me, almost. They gay best friend and the boyfriend both wanted my attention and to take their side and whatever. Now it’s just, me and mark and I guess now we’ll really see if we can live together.

Smurf came home from la la land. He was attending the Musicians Institute – and loving it, but for a few reasons had to and decided to come home. Like everyone else, he’s looking for work but selfishly I’m just really glad he’s home. I like having all my siblings near by, I love my family. And here I am discussing moving away to sacramento or attending a college out of state. shrug.

Rik’s first Varsity Basketball game was last night. He DID get to play and he DID score some points, it was AWESOME. It’s so weird to remember him playing little kid basketball and then now. he’s so tall and lean and athletic. I’m so proud of him. And then it was real cute when his girlfriend came over and said good job and he hugged her and said thanks for coming and kissed her on the forehead. Such a gentleman. Such a charmer. it’s cause he has me and sister to teach him. hahahaha

Sister and Double T have decorated for Christmas, their house looks excellent, as always. And the other night I made lasagna – ME, and invited them over and me and mark and smurf and sister and double T all ate together. It was pretty cool. I felt like an adult or something.

Mom loves her new job as the office manager of Middle Path Medicine. Escrow nearly killed her regardless of her 25 year span in the industry it was never her passion. But since I can remember she’s read medical books and knows what ingredients are and what does what. She’s ultimately a real live Dr. Mom. And now she can share her knowledge and work with a Doctor she likes, they’re more like best friends. it’s good.

I haven’t seen Dadda n Terry lately. They did drop by last week on their way home from auntie maria’s and brought me left over pasta and sushi. But before that it’s been a WHILE. my bad. They live a couple miles away, but I was stupid busy. Now that I have NOTHING I can play more often.

I sadly packed all my things up from the salon yesterday and brought them all home, no I packed it up Monday, not yesterday (tuesday). It took an hour and half and it was sad, and there wasn’t anyone there to say bye to. So later I’ll have to go and drop off my keys and give hugs.

There aren’t any Christmas decorations up because we don’t know if we’re staying or going, and I don’t want to go through the motions just to have more to do the next day in packing it up. However, i did get some scented pine cones, so the house smells kind of christmassy – and that’s nice.

We finally put the cabinets up in the garage last night. It looks SO much better in there. And by the end of today or tomorrow it should be all done and we’re discussing what game to put in there. He wants a pool table, but I don’t do pool. I suggested a ping pong table. That way its easier to move, doesn’t have to be "leveled" and it’s still fun! ta-da. But we’ll see. I don’t really know what I’m doing or where I’m going.

Went to the Pismo Palm Reader for $10 yesterday. That was fun. She was pretty spot on about many things and gave me things to look for, so we’ll see. I dont’ know if I believe too much in those things but it was fun for sure. What I know is she didn’t say anything about me marrying John Mayer, so that was sad. hehahah

Today I went bowling, we…We went bowling and I beat Mark. I’m sure it has everything to do with my amazing "foot work" and starting consistently with my left foot and thinking to myself "ashes ashes we all fall DOWN"

Then we went to Penny’s All American Cafe in Pismo for food and tonight we may go see a movie. Maybe 2012.

I speak with Antoan all the time still. I miss him all the time and want to move to New York and live happily ever after as Will & Grace. But we’ll see. hahahah

That’s your news update, stay tuned for weather.