I’m happy.  Lucky, even.  I’m happy and lucky that I have a job that I not only enjoy, but that I am good at.  I don’t know many people that can say that.  Some people settle for something they are good at because it pays the bills.  Which is very important, and very responsible.  Some people pursue they’re passion and often have to do odd-jobs, or work at flexible-schedule jobs in order to pursue them.  This is brave and still responsible–providing they are staying current on their bills.  Bills like rent.  Keeping their phone turned on.  Keeping the heat and electricity on.  Paying for running water and gas.  Providing food and nourishment for themselves and whomever else they are responsible for, say children or pets.  At any rate, bills suck but exist.  Some people do this, some people do that, and it’s so we can pay our bills.  Keep food in our bellies.  But…I’m happy, lucky even to have a job that I’m good at and that I enjoy doing.  I’d say I’m even passionate about it.

It is not my first passion, though.

And that’s where my head is tonight.

I work at a great boutique spa owned by a husband and wife.  The Mrs., is an esthetician like me and they just popped their first baby.  The location of this spa is great, the clients are steady, consistent, and also great.

It’s only when a client comes in and I learn they are in the industry of my first passion, that I question where I am and what I’m doing.  It’s only when a famous entertainer’s make up artist is on my table, I think of what I’m doing as a service more than a passion.  It’s only when a visual effects manager from top block busters like Gravity, or top TV shows comes in and is on my table that I start to wonder why I stopped wanting to act.  It’s only when a film editor for a hot series currently in it’s fourth season on CBS is in my “office” that I start to feel my heart ache.

But mostly, I’m happy.  And I know I’m lucky.  And I would be stupid to leave my  good paying job.  The job that I enjoy, and am good at.  The job I’m happy to get to in the mornings.  It would be silly, and stupid.  And it’s only on days like today that I consider the possibilities.  Then I move on to the next client.  I finish my day.  I clean and sanitize everything in my room, and I leave for the night.  I don’t have to get to work any earlier than 10:45, but I arrive by 10:30 ish.  I don’t have to stay any later than 8:15pm.  I’m happy, lucky even…that I have a job that I not only enjoy, but that I’m good at.  It’s only every so often, like today, that I think…what about…and then I blink.