Aiyani Mersai

 Happy Fathers day to some gents that I don’t have contact information for:

Chad of Chad n Mandy (joseph henry and the little miss on her way)
Joel of Joel n Amy (willow)
Matt of Judy n Matt (Corwin)
Rookie of Mike n Harmony (seth)
Tyler of Tyler n Jayme (pascale)

and I’m sorry if I missed someone.  I’m trying to email and text and leave messages on walls or comments places but…I guess I didn’t realize how many people I knew with kids!

Congratulations to all of you

I thought Salons that were battling each other were based on service, or prices, or "level" if you will. *I* was wrong, and was corrected when a star stylist at Roxy Salon & Day Spa said "they pull them out of the hat." I shrugged and said "then fate knows that we are on the level of Bladerunners" At the Battle, our models walked the runway together and typically the owner of the salon says something about their inspiration, or goal as far as the "theme" was concerned. Roxanne Steil, owner of Roxy Salon & Day Spa turned to me and said "aiyani will you do it?" And I say "sure, whatever you would like." So after our models came out I walked up to the mic said I was the spokesperson for Roxy Salon and gave them my 15 second shpill. I don’t remember all that I said but I know our salon has 10% veteran stylists, and 90% BRAND NEW stylists and they took this challenge and got very creative. That was fun. We had front row seats, ever the VIP’s and had Vodka at our table with a few mixers and sat with front row view.

It is my opinion that some of the stylists from other salons used more props than hair, and the politics of any "battle" leaves some people weighing the words "favoratism" or "money" and that’s the nature of humans in competition. Shrugg.

I am very proud of our girls at Roxy Salon & Day Spa, regardless if we lost to Bladerunners

Our theme was "Gift Wrap" and all make up was done by our second Esthetician Bernadette Mejia.

Hair by Bobbie Cunningham "Baby Shower"

Hair by Krista McAlister "Valentine’s Day"

props were a bow and arrow, classic cupid

Hair by Roxanne Steil "Black Saturday"

Hair by Rachel Damas "Christmas Tree"

she had presents AND lights in there

Hair by Kori Violini "Sweet 16"

my personal favorite.

Models for Roxy Salon & Day Spa

 Tonight is Battle of the Salons in SLO at Native.  I amgoing for moral support of the lovely ladies representing Roxy Salon & Day Spa and maybe helping with make up.  Our other Esthetician has had 9 years in make up artistry, so she’s kind of doing everything – but I’ll help if they need it.  

Something happened after I saw Wicked last week and I FINALLY decided to crawl out of my safe shell and try to do better.  Do better with my eating, and gym habits.  Do better with my singing and ‘warming up’ as it were.  I used to warm up vocally everyday, just for speaking, then more if I was going to sing.  I miss dancing and I’m going to see about taking the "groove" classes at my gym and maybe ask Mr. Man if he’s interested in ballroom dancing…I’ve always wanted to take lessons.  I’ve had a couple classes on ballroom dancing here and there, but mostly I fake it and learn as I go.  I want to learn to shoot a bow and arrow – is that wierd?  Having nothing to do with wanting to be Elphaba in the musical Wicked – I wanna learn to shoot a bow and arrow.  But I want to do better now.  I want to feel better, and so I will.  I want to look better and so I will.

I did well with my 4 week program with mom.  It was really strict and I don’t want to do it again, but I’m okay with having a shake for breakfast and eating well for lunch and dinner.  I’m good with drinking lots of water and I will stop eating 3 hours before bed time – doctor recommended. =)

My body misses stretching and moving, I can feel it.  

And so, It is time.

I woke up this morning after a lovely 8 hours of sleep…I LOVE wearing a sleep mask it has changed my life forever. It has become my blanky, my monkey, my I-can’t-sleep-without-this-y. I thank the person who invented it, and the person who purchased me the mask I have that says “Cranky Princess” on it. I believe that was either my Auntie Barbs, or my Stepmom Terry. Not sure, but that’s my guess I know I got it for Christmas a few years ago, I know I never really used it until I moved back to AG and the light came into the window every morning by 6am. NO deals. So I would wake up every morning to the light, then reach over and put my mask on. Only to later realize that if I go to sleep with it on from the beginning of the night I …..a) fall asleep faster, b) sleep better, and c) sleep without light disturbance. This is a wonderful and useful thing.

So I woke up this morning, went to work and Kori Violini, hair stylist extraordinaire! flat ironed my hair for me. She has styled my hair more in the past few months than my hair has ever been styled over my past Thirty-Zero years. She is great and you want her to cut and color your hair – and she does extensions too!!

I woke up, went to work, did some work then came home and went to Klondike Pizza in AG with my mom, Rik, Mr. Man, my cousin Tori and her kids Alyssa, Kenny, and Annika. Yum and I had Root Beer. Now, I don’t actually like soda, but IF i’m gonna have soda (without whiskey or whatever. . . ) it’s gonna be Root Beer. I LOVE root beer, always have. Then we came home and played a good 2 hours of charades with me writing little quotes, or movie titles, or TV shows or books or famous people or whatever …”poker face”….”apple tree” and everyone took turns acting it out. It was really…REALLY fun. And we all laughed and cheered each other on. I love nights like tonight.

And now, I’m off to sleep so I can wake up, do some laundry and pack because tomorrow, wednesday, Mr. Man and I leave for San Francisco to see WICKED at The Orpheum on thursday and we return Friday. It will be my third time seeing it, his first – I can’t…WAIT!!!

Briefly, In other News the Paso Swim & Tennis Club although having hired me, is still waiting to open. It has been a long process for them and we are finally just now finding out what products they are going to use and what they’d like us to wear. I’m not thrilled with what we wear (White polo shirt, I have to buy and black or khaki pants with black, brown or white shoes). And then…today..I got a call from the Spa Manager at the Cliffs Resort, she’s looking for an esthetician and I’ll speak with her this week. I’m wondering if Paso hasn’t opened yet because I’m supposed to be somewhere else. This is the 3rd place that has contacted me since I’ve accepted the position at Paso that is interested in speaking with me about doing skin care for them. My mind and options are open.

And – I’ve already read more books this year than I have in five years total. Sweet.

I actually went outside today.  I don’t really like being outside.  I don’t like grass and bugs and garden spiders – or any spiders I suppose.  I don’t like sand, or wind, or the smell of dog poop.  I’m okay with the sun providing I’m lathered in sun block.  I don’t like tan lines, even though in my life I have acquired some.  

But today – TODAY i put a bathing suit on after cleaning.  Put on my sun block and went outside to the backyard with bugs and spiders and grass and dog poop and sat outside for an hour enjoying the sun and a book..  Mind you – I’m not one of those people who can bust out a book in an hour of six, but a couple chapters of an easy read I can do, and I did.  

Yesterday I was on Bounce House patrol at Kennedy Club Fitness for Kidz Club.  Three hours later I left, and visited with The Gutterson’s for a bit, then came home and pouted, like you do about stuff – then Jack n Theo came to pick me up and we had dinner at Applebees and went to Boomers.  Yah – BOOMERS.  That poor mini golf place is flooding in places, the Gingerbread house is in tatters, the castle was "out of service" complete with a sign posted that said "this ATTRACTION is out of service" with a "sorry for the inconvenience" in tow.  I wanted to go up to the manager and say, you know we drove ALL the way over here for the castle and its BROKEN??  Does it not spit golf balls out after you putt them towards the door?  But instead we laughed that it said "attraction" like it was the Viper at Magic Mountain, or the Haunted House at Disneyland.  We later went in for the exciting video games and ticket winning and in moments we had accumulated 120 tickets to which we could use to trade in for things like::: pencil erasers, a single piece of Laffy Taffy, A -singular-one sucker, a bracelet, a plastic spider or worm and other assorted pieces of trash.  Then I was brilliant and said something mean and we were on a mission to find a kid to give our tickets too.  I was specific of the kind of kid I wanted to hand over our winnings to and when we didn’t find one that matched, we settled for a 12 year old greenish/blonde haired girl with too much pink based make-up on, enough to see the line she had drawn at the base of her chin…and I approached her and said "want out tickets" she and her friend, in amazement, overlooking the Laffy Taffy flavors, timidly said "ok" and I dropped them on the counter with "there’s One Hundred and twenty, enjoy"  With mild squeaks they said "thank you" and I said "uh-huh, bye" and Jack, Theo and I left the building.  Of course, upon our grande exit we walked into a fart cloud and we all sped to the door gagging for air and wondering what little kid needed a diaper change or what those parents were feeding their kids.  Good Times.

Then today, was…today – and you already read that part.  I woke up cleaned, then went outside.  Then I had pasta – and I miss protein – and now Mr. Man is here waiting for my fingers to stop vigorously pounding the white keys of my little MacBook.

Onward and Upward. 

Last night as I cried myself to sleep I started talking out loud to ex-boyfriends in letter form, as if dictating to an assistant.  Then today it was still on my mind so I took some lined paper and began writing out these so called letters.  I didn’t have Miranda (my computer) so I wrote in the fashion we did in junior high.

I wrote these letters because sometimes it just builds with in me to cry out and tell them what I really think or felt, or how I feel now in reflection.  I couldn’t be bothered to write their names I addressed them as “Dear #1” and that right there is enough ammunition for a therapist to dive into my past.

What I found in writing them was I became extremely blunt and didn’t try at all to soften any blows.  Maybe this was because they weren’t actually present, or because I no longer care, or because it was just for me and no one else.  Even though I still might type it out and post it and share it.  I don’t know.

What I also found was that I am only poetic, and I use that term loosely as words do not necessarily sing out of me, when I refer to #1.  After that I become bored, and the language I use is boring and lacks imagery or beauty, as I believe poems are the opposite.  And as I wrote to #2, and 3 and 4 I found out more of who I am and why I had those experiences or what I did to attain those experiences.  I found out the kind of person I “really” am.  Which is another session with a therapist just waiting to happen.

I stopped writing these letters when I saw that the next letter was “Dear Jeffrey”  Not “Dear #5” but with him, I used his name.  Maybe it’s because even if I never used his name people would know who I was talking about when I mentioned husband, or marriage.  Maybe it’s because it’s still fresh in my memory.  I don’t know.

I know that while “dictating” to my fake assistant in the middle of the night last night I used his name as well.  I told him everything I thought or felt and the only reason I hadn’t screamed was because my 16 year old brother was fast asleep just in the other room.  I know rubbing my eyes began to hurt and so did the salt water.

And last night, I began to write a new letter as well.  It was “dear…” and I continued as if he would know who he is.  As I imagine if you follow my life at all, you would guess who it is.  That there is an order to the numbers coinciding with the ex-boyfriends of my life, you would know who the next letter was to.

But I couldn’t get any words out.  My thoughts were running wild and my chest was hurting.  Hurting the way it did with #1.  The words couldn’t make it from my head to my mouth and the aching wasn’t stopping with the tears.  The uncontrolled gasps for breath and the sobs and sounds that echoed in my small room were driving me insane, as was the pain going on emotionally.  I was losing myself again.  I was unable to stay in control as I had trained myself so well over the past decade when it came to boys.  But this time it was about a man, and I was hurting him, and he was hurting me and the only ammunition I seemed to have was…what all the other numbers did.  As if I was using him as my punching bag to take out all the aggression  that had built up inside me…for..10+ years.

There is nothing less romantic than comparing your new love to old ones.  Nothing more hurtful than picking out their small faults and pin pointing it as a HUGE problem because of the HUGE problems you had with other people.  At least…there doesn’t seem to be anything worse.  I guess it could be worse if it was happening TO me, and instead of being in the line of fire – I am the fire…burning him with all that I have left.  And when I run out of flames I leave him alone, only to return with more matches.

And the sickest, most disturbing part of all of it is he is always willing and ready to take it because he wants me to get it out, and he wants to be the man that can stand the heat then hold me when I collapse into his newly charred arms.  He wants to look at me after I’ve finished my destruction, after he’s bandaged the words I had branded on his swollen, tender skin, and remind me he’s not going anywhere.

Can you believe that?

I am not well.
I am torn
I am not kind
I am in love
I am lost
I ache
I cry
I wake up and try, I fail.
I give up
I give in
I run away
I hide
I block

And somewhere in the letter I couldn’t speak out to the dark cold walls, words I had believed drowned with me when #1 left started to pop into my head.  Truth, vulnerable, pure… Somewhere between healing and hurting I was remembering that he is human, and in that – for the first time in over ten years I looked at a boy, a guy, a man – and actually saw him.

And I guess, that’s where the story begins.

SOOOOO I changed my work hours at Roxy Salon & Day Spa in SLOville because I’ll also be working 3 days a week in Paso once the Paso Swim & Tennis club opens.

Tuesday/Thursday/Friday
11am – 6pm
Roxy Salon & Day Spa
641 Higuera Suite 101 & 102
SLO, CA 
805-545-9069
All payments go directly to me

 
Eventually I’ll be::::

Saturday/Sunday/Moday
Paso Swim  & Tennis Club
9am – 2:30pm
I receive a commission of the service.