Aiyani Mersai

Happy New Year’s Eve Everyone. Be safe and even if you’re a mile from home, don’t drive if your tossed, hammered, slammed, sloshed, gone, or drunk. Only drive if you are sober and awake enough to do so.

Jax:
Have a drink for me, and I wish I was there to play you have NOOOO idea

Left & Right:
what are you doing? what are you doing? what are you doing what are you doing? what are you doing?

Kevin:
I think the last time I saw you drink or heard you drank was your b-day, and the time before that was also your b-day, but have a shot for me yah?

Daaaaaaaaannnnaa:
hi, and i’m sorry we didn’t get to play last week

PG:
Be safe in Colorado, you’re computer is at the Barn on the desk…at least it was when I left. Kaza and I went thru the kitchen and I think she and Mark painted and stuff bla bla bla. Call her when you get home, call ME when you get home.

Randy Bear:
I miss you terribly, and I hope next time I’m in SLO we can have lunch. call me call me call me

Rookie:
It was SO cool that you played on saturday and sang! You’re totally hooked aren’t you?

Roger Rabbit:
Got your email, that was FUN, it’s been a while since we actually emailed eachother like at a “real” address and not here or IM. Fun, and thank you

MahRoomah:
Ilahmahroomah l;asdkfao;we and I miss joo

Mentor:
do you even read these like your SUPPOSED to???? You need to call me. Bad Squishy.

ALL:
Resolution: Firm Determination, resolving to do something
*Do you make “New Year’s Resolution” It’s sort of a damper to me, why I find myself having resolutions EVERYDAY, not just one day a year. But if I had to chose it would be to get out of this financial hole, and that is a work in progress (thank you) and lose weight. I’ve never said I will lose weight but I feel like now that I’m down here, and I promised MYSELF a long time ago I would stay determined to make a career out of acting and singing, if losing weight will “further” my career then I think it is a good idea to make it so. And so – I will. What will you do?

And now…….

Back to you – John Mayer; Room for Squares

Back to You, it always comes around Back to You. I tried to forget you, I tried to stay away – but it’s too late
Over you, I’m never over, over you – there’s something about you it’s just the way you move, the way you move me.

yah I’m so good at forgetting. I quit every game I play. But forgive me love. I can’t turn and walk away – not this way.

Back to you, it always comes around back to you. I walk with your shadow I’m sleeping in my bed with your silhouette.

yah, should’ve smile in that picture – if it’s the last that I’ll see of you, it’s the least that you could not do.

(oh I will) Leave the light on. I’ll never give up on you. leave the light on for me too.

Back to me. I know that it comes back to me, doesn’t it scare you your will is not as strong as it used to be.

My Interpretation:
It’s kind of like a Karma thing…..but not. It’s like that one person that gets under your skin and you love them but have to leave them, or you want to be with them but it’s just not right right then and there. You know sometimes you want things to work out YOUR way – but no matter what you try to do, it just doesn’t happen. It’s just not meant to be. And sometimes it comes as no surprise, and sometimes its a real shocker and you end up kind of lost…..so you hope. You “leave the light on” thinking they will come back home to you and at the same time if you had to leave you’re asking them to leave the light on for you. It’s like being together means you almost lose yourself so you separate to find that firmer ground with who you are, but it was such a nice comfort zone aswell you almost want to prove everyone wrong by saying you’ll get along just fine with out them.

Have you ever wanted to stay but had to leave? Directions are wierd, they never seem to go the same way. Even if you’re trying to get to the same place someone else takes the back roads while you take the freeway. So make the choice of what direction YOU are going in, and don’t look back – you already know what’s back there, keep your eyes infront of you for what you haven’t encountered yet.

Toy Talk to resume, turn of the year.

it was fun to dance with him at her party on saturday.

Because I have time in my “busy” schedule at “work.” I shall again go over moments of my week that come to mind. Sorry if I repeat myself, you’ll find in normal conversation – I tend to do that aswell….

Left & Right and Food Imporium….I’m still thinking about it – thanks.

Woodstocks with Kaza and Seanah last tuesday was enjoyable and yummy. I miss pizza.

The 4 Mersai Kids stayed at Dadda’s house Christmas Eve and did Christmas there first, then went to mommie’s house. I like Almond Rocha and my auntie gives me some EVERY YEAR. All of my family is now saying “are you saying I’m fat”

Michael Aaron drove up from Ojai tuesday and stayed at the Cliffs. We ate Chinese food and went to skarieokie. He watched the same 7 people sing for like 4 hours. How fun is that?? I don’t know. Dropped him off at his hotel, picked him up the next day and we had coffee at starbucks in AG (my sister works there!!!!!! she’s so pretty and wonderful) and talked for like 3 hours. It was cool. It was fun to hang out. Ran into Dan Connor whom I’ve known since he was like 7 8 9???? Yah, wierd- but fun. We had gone to school together too but he had moved to WA – and now he lives in SLOville again. For those of you who are wondering which one he was this last saturday he had on the beanie and sang “With or Without You.” And I sat in the front row.

Speaking of front rows – many happened Saturday all well deserved. I lahmahroomah, Seanah and BrightEyes!!!!!!!! And thank you to all of you who sat in my front row – it’s a very cool feeling, even though it’s “just” skarieokie.

Mommie made turkey and yummy stuff for Christmas dinner – I’m hungry.

A “Ceres” of Meetings took place on Friday. Shawn Jacques, my social advisor, and I went to Ceres (pronounced “Series”) to visit his family. It was a day trip. A LONG trip, but they were all happy to see him and apparently he wouldn’t have gone if he had to drive the 4 hours of boredom, long, tedious, cow-smelling way alone. Glad I could be of service Jax. “Who loves joo!?” =D All his family is very kind and huggy. I don’t think one shook my hand it was “and this is my friend Aiyani” and they said “it’s wonderful to meet you” and hugged me. It was cute. And for all those wondering, Jax resembles his dad – but I see his mom in him a little.

The SkarieOkie slumber party was a HUGE hit, it was fun and my body ACHED the next day….who am I kidding? I hurt TODAY STILL! Singing in the middle of the night when you’re delirious is really an interesting thing. By 7:30am I was singing “Ordinary Love” by Sade and even the part that said “(Instrumental Break)” came out of my mouth. I tried to sing it in key but often in my delirium I will simply sing in the key of me. Thanks.

I have a cute pair of Jammies that say “Adorable” on the butt. Wore those last night when I went to see JP…..and this is the part where I say “yay” he’s so cute. He’s fun and he kept kissing me on the forehead and the cheek. We cuddled up on the couch and watch Harry Potter and did a little smooching. He said he could kiss me all day. Um…..hi….ok – that’s ok – pick a day! hahahahaha, ok ok ok I sound WAY to girlie like I’m in Junior high. So that’s the boy story for this entry.

For those of you wondering about any other “boys” that may or may not be in my life, let’s say simply, I talk to these boys, but I only want to smooch one.

Star 98.7 will be announcing Star VIP’s names at the top of every hour from 7am to 12am everyday starting next week to send them to see John Mayer in February. I am a VIP!!!! “Ooo Ooo Pick me !!!!!” So keep me in happy John Thoughts, AND everyday they will chose someone they will fly out and put in a hotel in Canada to see him too!!!! hhmmm……do you need a passport for Canada? Is this somthing I should worry about at all??? Please advise. Thanks

Eating Chocolate Truffles from the store Harry & David. Yes it defeats the purpose of me going to the gym, so I’m not going to this week hahahahahah – didn’t go last week either OBVIOUSLY since I was HOME HOME.

Toy Talk will continue soon, I promise.

Well I’ll try this only because I’m already done with my work, it’s only 3p and I just read an article about John. So I’m feeling good. Quickly glancing at “the word is” from last night’s fiasco I have decided not to go in order of events but to just throw out random parts of the past week. Parts that stand out, tied in with parts that I remember right now at this exact moment.

When Kaza arrived at the airport friday night our screams of joy together broke the library sense that the arrivals area had goin’. Oh well. No one told us to please be quiet, I think if anything people were amused. Makes you wonder why THEY weren’t yelling with happiness. Once we got in the car it was 5pm. Friday night, 5pm driving up the 405………I’m sure you can picture the drive. Racing at 12 miles an hour. However, on the upside – we were together and Star 98 re-ran John’s performance (that I missed out on because I wasn’t caller 98). It was of course wonderful, I think I love it more to hear him and his guitar only. No bass, no drums, no one else. Just John – Loved it.

BrightEyes and Seanah and I ate at this place in Santa Maria called FOOD IMPORIUM. It had a whole bunch of EVERYTHING. I ate Japanese food, Chinese food, some salad, some pizza – and all for $7.11………thanks girls for introducing me – I’m addicted and think about eating there all the time. BrightEyes, when I come and visit it shall be where we go….even though the right side of your brain will be THOUSANDS of miles away – we shall eat for her! hahahaha ok.

My mommie and I were able to see the Christmas production at PCPA thanks to Roger Rabbit. It was a great story and no one had names and no one actually had lines – it was all songs and music. It was great, beautiful and wonderful. Attacking the Christmas “movement” if you will, through the years it has become more about presents – and the show gave us, the audience, something else to look at – another point of view. which leads me to simply say, as cliche as it is “what does Christmas mean to you” You don’t really have to answer but hopefully “presents” was not what came to mind first, think of those as an added bonus.

Dinner preparted by Shawn Jacques,my social advisor, and Zac last Sunday night was DEVINE. I had a glass of dessert wine a glass of red wine and 2 shots of Slivovitz. Wasn’t bad, made my chest really warm really fast, but I did not get drunk. There were about 12 of us I’d say around a dinner table, all of us knew someone else that was there and by the end of the evening everyone knew everyone. Then there were presents. Zac and Jax went out and purchased enought gifts for everyone there to have 2. No names on them, we just picked them out, unwrapped them and that was that. It was such a crazy, but thoughtful thing for them to do. I got some REALLY COOL candles, and a mini digital camera that I have yet to play with….but I WILL! Once I’m done unpacking and find a place for things…..hi – they even baked a cake. One word “yum.” That’s all.

I saw 2 movies while in SLOville – well AG/GB. Their reviews follow.

THE LAST SAMURAI is a cultural heat wave. Little to no swearing but some serious war action still gives the rating of “R” I’ve never seen a story like it but to try to generalize it, “it’s about people fighting for what they believe in” Japan brings in US military to show them how to use guns, but the Samurai’s do not believe in those weapons. They fight by the sword. It is intense, it is a reality check on damage by gun or sword, it is a wonderful story. Battles, Wars – it’s all fighting. And in the beginning I was routing for the wrong team. In the end, I was not surprised by the ending, or hurt by it. I didn’t feel betrayed or carried by hollywood. The story told itself. And in the end, you know it was good because you felt it.

PETER PAN introduces an old story with young refreshing faces. The magic is still a HUGE part of what makes the story of the boy who wouldn’t grow up so powerful. Full of color,and imagination this version of Peter Pan is a wonderful clash of the Musical and the Disney verions. Watching it, was like hearing it for the first time. The lost boys are fun, the mermaids are mysterious, the crocodile is ENORMOUS and then there was Captain James Hook…..Originally the character is played by the same person that playsWendy, John, and Michaels father. This interpretation does not let you forget that. Which brings out more meaning on being a child and wanting or needing your parents but maybe looking for their kind of love in the wrong place. Tink is spunky and shows the true reflection of the jealous fairy she is when Wendy is around. This is truly a movie for the entire family and I encourage you to see it. It is about flying and forgetting, it is about learning and teaching, it is about love and lack of love. It is magical.

Allright that’s all I’m writing about right now. Maybe I’ll write more later this day.

ps. I FINALLY heard “Clarity” on the radio.

OH MY GOD

I just updated this thing for THE WHOLE DAMN WEEK and it said “error” I can’t believe I didnt’ copy it over to a wordpad, like i normally do, just in case. I am LIVID.

I can’t write anymore right now. Fortunately for you that means no huge novel, unfortunately if you actually cared what it may have said you’ll never know. I’ll give you the “short short version” ( do you? yes, do you? yes, good you’re married, kiss her)……but I’ll do that another time

But so I know what to say, the words are:

1.Friday’s Drive – and John’s Star Lounge
2. Saturday with Left and Right and Food, then Kaza’s sister’s party
3. talking on phone for hours like I’m in Junior High
4. Sunday to PCPA with mommie thanks to Roger Rabbit
5. Dinner with Jax
6. Where were you when the Earthquaked? JP called to check on me
7. Michael Aaron
8. Christmas, and Pictionary….the 6 hours of it. JP called and said merry christmas and I think a drunk Plantboy did too.
9. Ceres, Shawn Jacques
10. skarieokie saturday and slumber party
11. movie reviews for The Last Samurai and Peter Pan
12. Why 12 is a good number.

1. Friday’s Drive – and John’s Star Lounge
2. Saturday with Left and Right and Food, then Kaza’s sister’s party
3. talking on phone for hours like I’m in Junior High
4. Sunday to PCPA with mommie thanks to Roger Rabbit
5. Dinner with Jax
6. Where were you when the Earthquaked?

We’ll go all of this soon. For now – I’m off to the movies to see The Last Samurai with Dadda and Rikster….and of course my review will be inluded.

bye

Apparently John has a new song on the radio “Clarity” I haven’t heard it yet but EL heard it and said she wouldn’t called if 1. she had a cel phone and 2. she figured I was listening to Star 98.7 anyways………well…1. She needs to get a Cel already-GRANDMA- 2. I was listening to John on CD. So, because I haven’t done one of these in a while…..

Clarity-John Mayer; Heavier Things

I worry I weigh 3 times my body. I worry I throw my fear around. But this morning there’s a calm I can’t explain. The rock candy’s melted only diamonds now remain. Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo

By the time I recognize this moment. This moment will be gone. But I will bend the light pretending, that it some how lingered on. Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo

And I will wait to find if this will last forever. And I will wait to find if this will last forever. And I will wait to find that it won’t, and it won’t because it can’t – it just can’t; it’s not supposed to.

Was there a second of time I looked around? Did I sail through or drop my anchor down? Was anything enough to kiss the ground, and say I’m here now; and she is here now. Well all I needs Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo

So much wasted in the afternoon. So much sacred in the month of June. How ’bout you?

And I will wait to find if this will last forever. And I will pay no mind cause it won’t and it won’t and it won’t. And I will waste not time worried ’bout no rainy weather and I will waste no time remaining in our lives together.

My interpretation:
You know how something’s going good but you ruin it by waiting and worrying that something will make it go bad? Like you won’t just, well….let things…be. Enjoy what you have when you have it. I think this song is saying NOT to worry. Yah, wait things out once there good if it’s supposed to end fine; whatever but don’t sit and ponder WHEN it’s going to end or stop. What I like, personally, is that in the beginning of the song it says *I* worry about …..this and that… and then there’s this moment. This decision is made that *I* will not worry anymore….and in the middle it says *I*’m here now and She is here now……..so it’s no longer I. And in the end he simply states I will waste no time remaining in our lives together. So he’s decided to just….be…….and Mahroomah and I LOVE that kind of stuff. He’s just going to accept it and not waste time being negative. I love this man…..well I love what his songs say and how they play. I don’t know him too well, YET!!

Perhaps I will be back later with a Toy Talk.

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	You died of natural causes. How sweet. Your funeral is an adverage open casket.
Death Date:	August 23, 2066
Number attending your funeral?	153
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$3,203,637
Created with quill18‘s MemeGen!

OR AM I………

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	You always were kinky in your sex life and took it just a bit to far. You died over doing breath control, blood play, or some other strange kink.
Death Date:	June 4, 2056
Number attending your funeral?	48
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$1,781,721
Created with quill18‘s MemeGen!

um…..that really sucks – i hope mommie doesn’t read that one – no deals

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	Terrible animal attack while you were out hiking in the mountains. Seemed that you made good animal food, definately a closed casket.
Death Date:	July 20, 2026
Number attending your funeral?	156
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$2,109,155
Created with quill18‘s MemeGen!

Ok, that’s just plain horrible. But we can all look forward to the wah wah wah song by john about losing his wife. and maybe everyone will take the animals metaphorically….2 more for kicks, after all they are alias names….I die – they die.

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	Terrible animal attack while you were out hiking in the mountains. Seemed that you made good animal food, definately a closed casket.
Death Date:	August 16, 2009
Number attending your funeral?	106
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$3,014,153
Created with quill18‘s MemeGen!

interesting, very interesting….and………..

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	You die in sweet bliss while having sex with your lover or partner. Seems they were so good your heart couldn't stand it and stopped. Talk about a heart breaker, but at least everyone sees you inyour casket with a smile of your face.
Death Date:	June 19, 2027
Number attending your funeral?	148
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$2,134,922
Created with quill18‘s MemeGen!

Let us be reminded i HATE the word LOVER and my “partner” we shall call my future husband, let’s hope he doesn’t go to jail……….These are always so wierd.