Aiyani Mersai

The subject title is the opening line to John Mayer’s “Any Given Thursday” CD. A live taping of his performance in …..Birmingham 9/12/02. On with me I suppose…

Thursday:
I successfully picked up Kaza’s sister Terri from the Long Beach Airport by 7:20am. We got to SLO by Noonish and had lunch with Kaza and Kathy (another sister) at Firestone Grill. I went to my dadda’s house and slightly unpacked, took a shower and headed to my mommies house for a brief visit. Then by 6:20p was out the door to Daaannnnnnaaaa’s house in Los Osos then met up with BrightEyes and headed out to the Cambria Pines Lodge for Skarie-Okie. A lovely place, by the way, with a a homey atmosphere using couches and comfy chairs and a fireplace. The bartender was cool – Robert. About 5 or 6 7&7’s and a shot of Liquid Cocaine later I was tossed and Daannnnaaa drove us to BrightEyes’ car in Morro Bay, and from there BrightEyes took me to Shell Beach to Christian Clarno’s house….where Kaza, Terri, Mikey D, and Mark Robertshaw were also drinking. We hung out, I got cranky and tired so Christian graceously drove me to my dad’s house in AG at 4:30 in the morning. I woke up Friday………

Friday:
…at 11:30 called my mom and asked her to take me to my car. So after getting up, eating, and falling asleep on the couch, I woke up again took a shower and mommie came to get me at about 1:30 and took me to my car in Los Grosos. I then went to Best Buy to make a purchase and ran into Jason and Nicole Champeau, we visited for about 1/2 hour or so then I had to get going. Met up with Terri and Kaza at their mommie’s house in SLO and hung out with them for a little while. I wanted Chinese food, but didn’t get any. Called PG a few times and no call back so I went to my mommie’s house to hang more. I fell asleep and it was nice. Every time I’m over there they’re watching Lord of the Rings – Two Towers…EVERY TIME…It’s great, but funny that it’s always on. Randy (mommie’s husband) was having a moment guess he made a couple mistakes at work but it’s a new job I was telling him. Told him it’s like coloring with crayons all your life then all of a sudden someone says to use watercolors. You get the colors, doesn’t mean you can use the tools they gave you. Sometimes you won’t stay in the lines – and it’ll take a couple tries to get the hang of it all. He seemed to like it, said I had an easy going way about getting over things like that (maybe I should practice what I preach though) Told him to look at the situation and say…”meh”… and he smiled and laughed at me. Guess I’m funny. Then – met up with BrightEyes and Sergio…the Sonic Bunny in SLO and carpooled up to Los Grosos for Skarie-Okie at MerriMakers. Never been there, interesting, small, and California Karaoke is NO WHERE NEAR as great as Mesa Karaoke (Sunset Dunes). NO WHERE!!!!! Some guy was at the bar and started to talk to me (NO DEALS) asking me if I was gonna sing some James Brown or something, then on a tangent about how he was attracted to Asian looks and girls with the whole dark hair and Island look – no……. – I said “really.” as plain and boring as I could and turned away, it was my turn to sing. Then BrightEyes and I just sat somewhere else after that. Hi he was old enough to be my dad, not cute, not funny, not happening – NO DEALS! I got to my dadda’s house by about 1:40 and went to sleep, woke up Saturday at about…..

Saturday:
12noon! It was nice to have slept for so long. I had a few messages on my phone so I checked ’em. Mommie had called and Rikster (brother) had a soccer game at 12 right across the street, so I thru some real clothes on and walked over to watch him play. He’s amazing. Everything he does he succeeds at. Basketball, Soccer, Baseball, Karate, Drums! You name it, if he does it he’s good at it. He gives his all out there and I was so proud of him. I’ve been watching his sports since he was in T-Ball, it’s great watching him grow into such an astounding athlete. Later, Dana and I had dinner at Upper Crust then headed to the Theatre to watch Kaza’s closing night performance. Mommie and Myfavoritesister met up with us. All Kaza’s family was there too, I think we were the entire middle section. Kaza….she made us laugh, made us cry, made us miss the stage if we’ve performed, made some special looks only a couple of us understood, made us all EXTREMELY proud. If you were anyone in that audience you would understand. The energy was going full speed ahead and nothing would stop it. Just, amazing. THEN it was off to Skarie-Okie. An entrance we made, it was like “old times” and if you used to go to Sunset Dunes with “us” you know what I meant. The energy didn’t stop once Funny Girl was over. She brought it with her. Kaza and her smashing fairwell performance of “Cabaret” had the bar-attendees and “audience” if you will all enthrolled. Of course I danced with her!!!!!!!!! We both grabbed chairs and made our way to the center of the floor. It felt so great. It’s starting to sink in though, we won’t be doing that anymore when I come in to SLO, cause she won’t be there. So there were some moments and looks, if you were there and caught it, that became a priceless effort on our part but at the same time we both didn’t want the effort to end. Obviously when you do something for the “last time” it’s emotional and hard to put at rest. Apparently BrightEyes took a couple pics, hopefully they came out ok. All night we were dancing and jumping and drinking. And at 1:30, it was time to go. Kevin let Kaza sing the last song of the evening to close it out. He sang with her (of course for THIS particular song….it sounds mind blowing when they sing it together). They sang “Everyday is a Winding Road.” by Sheryl Crow. It was another moment you wanted your ears to make sure it computed to the hardrive of your memory so you could always go back and hear it again if you so desired. Then, I went home to my dadda’s house and Woke up Sunday.

Sunday:
October 5, 2003 was Kaza’s going away brunch. Hosted by John and Sandy Cribb in SLO, there was an amazing spread provided with lots of wine and champage for all. Friends arrived and departed all between the hours of 12 and 6, sharing songs accompanied by the lovely Linda or John Cribb. Raising money for Kaza’s Subway fare we were all singing and requesting songs and pretty much if Kaza said do it, everyone else said ok. Nearing the end of the evening and the house began to empty we gathered around the piano and I sang a song I wrote for Kaza. Too emotional to pull it off, my eyes flooded with tears and unable to hold a note I spoke the words instead. I hit some wrong keys but that’s what you get when you close your eyes to let the tears down. Afterwards, a look around the room ensured me that perhaps the words were heard as everyone was in tears reaching for kleenex. Again, it was just….a moment. But it is these moments that become memories and those memories that make us smile and recognize who we have and what we have, as well as who we will miss.

I later went to Terry Sue’s home to visit and catch up. Just a little quiet time between the two of us was deserved and I enjoyed it. And of course Skarie-Okie at Mothers Tavern, and home to Dadda’s house by 2am.

Monday:
I woke up today to my phone ringing at 7:21am. My brother Rik called to tell me he saw an Idlers commercial with Kaza in it. He was adorable in telling me all about it (well he left me a message, you know…I was sleeping) I woke up at 9:30 to solidify the schedule for the day with Kaza and Terri. We (Kaza, Terri, Kathy, and I) met up at Hobees for “the last coffee cake.” (It seems this was the weekend of “the lasts”). We visited then had to get on the road to get Terri to the Airport and me home. Kaza and Terri, of course not knowing when the next time was that they would see eachother had to say good-bye. This I know was hard. But then Kaza drove off and Terri and I were on our way to get her luggage, then my luggage then get on the road. 4 hours later Terri was at Jet Blue in Long Beach and I was on my way to Burbank. I walked up the stairs, placed my things in my room and layed down on the living room floor and downloaded the weekend to Anthony. Then I hopped online and wrote this.

Kaza’s plane leaves Wednesday October 8, 2003 at 10:40pm. Her mom and brother Chris and sister in law are going with her to New York to see that she settles herself in and she’s going to a Yankees Game at Yankees Stadium on thursday. One of her “firsts” as a “New Yorker.”

It is the next couple days that I will have to come to terms with the fact that she is leaving, and not on vacation. It is the next couple of days that I won’t get sleep, it is the next couple days that she will say goodbye to all those who love her. It is the next couple days that I’m not ready for. And even more so, I’m not ready to go back to SLO next weekend and have her not be there. This will be hard. This will be trying. However, this will pass, this will be good for her and I have to remember that. This also means that a huge part of me will feel empty and though I know strength is something I’m good at, I am weakening as the hours pass. And as the countdown lowers I can’t help but think this knot in my throat won’t go down. This churn in my stomach will not stop, and the tearing in my heart won’t heal, which inevitably brings me to the question……Should I be a part of it? New York, New York.

Catch you Kats later.

Yesterday I was too tired to get my ass out of bed. So once I was at work I walked over to my local Starbucks. A Venti Mint Mocha Frap with 4 shots and whip cream and a walnut zuccini muffin later, I was wired and laughing at everything. This enabled me to get my work done then I got home and it still hadn’t worn off. I played the piano for I think 5 or 6 hours, took a break for some macaroni and chez and took another break to talk to my mommie. I stopped at 1:30 when Roger Rabbit IM’d me and said “isn’t it past your bedtime?” I didn’t know it had become so late. So I said yes, and went to bed. I lay there til 3pm and realize that I have to wake up in 5 hours and NEEDED to be asleep. Nothing happened. I had 3 to 4 songs stuck in my head and they weren’t going anywhere. I couldn’t get comfy, I was hot then cold, lying on my side, then my stomach then flat on my back and I just gave up. Next thing I remember my alarm had been going off for at least 20 minutes and I was running late. CRAP! I stumble into the shower, stumble out find clean clothes and hall my tired behind to Embassy Su-ites Arcadia. Mentor comes over to play on Tuesdays to make sure I’m holding the fort down fine since I’m only a temp Revenue Mangager and we no longer have a Director of Sales. I didn’t get any “real” work done. We worked on rate strategies, and corporate shtuff but on the whole we chatted about all kinds of stuff. Some work, some not – but I didn’t actually “do” any work. Follow? Then we were hungry and were extatic to find out it was Nugget Tuesday at McD’s $1 6 piece nuggets! So I indulged and dove right in to the opportunity. Had a few pieces of chocolate then came home and Mentor and I made Pasta, Salad, and French Bread for he, husband, and me to share. We watched Ferris Buelers Day off. There was a moment where my leggs were over them on the couch and husband held my legs down and Mentor tickled my feet. NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I some how wigged out enough to land on the floor and the rest of my dinner on the floor. Oh well! I guess we know that I’m ticklish, but careful when I wig out. I now want dessert and can’t afford it. I don’t NEED it either, I just WANT it. I’m excited to come to SLOville this weekend, I’m not excited about getting up at 6 ish to go to the Long Beach airport to pick up my soul sista (kaza’s sister) Well…….wait, I’m excited to see Ter-Bear, and I’m honored that I am a soul sista, but when a flight is arriving before the sun….somethings wrong. BUT it will ALL be worth it. I don’t know if I’m coming back here Sunday or Monday but I know I’ll be back in SLOville the next weekend, might bring Plantboy too. Let him see the greatest Skarie-Okie joint there is and eat the best coffee cake. But that’s only a maybe. (I’ll try to remember to bring a picture so you can see Brighteyes =) ) Allright? Allright. and…..Roger Rabbit I have a present for you, no it’s not another pin- I hate that it got lost…It’s a SIGN!!!!!!!

Catch you Kats Later.

P.S. Kaza leaves 10/8/03 for New York so come say goodbye on 10/5/03 at John & Sandy Cribbs house. Address is on Friendster, but if you need it again, let me know and I’ll email it to you and all that good stuff!

Cool?

Just to be COMPLETELY clear to you all. The sushi gag…..the “They Found Nemo” picture.

It’s actually Marlin (Nemo’s dad) and if you’d seen it 10 times you’d know this. AND I’ll also tell you his facial expression is the one from the beginning of the movie where his wife Coral and all the other fish eggs are eaten by the big ugly thing and he sees 1 egg left over.

Your welcome and we’re officially dropping the sushi bit

Allright SLOville Kids. Apparently the plan for thursday is Skarie-Okie in Cambria. Brighteyes knows a great fun spot, SO – if you wanna, come and play let me know and the meantime I’ll ask Brighteyes Where this place is again; cause I already forgot. ok? bye

Apparently yours truly made it in the New Times of SLOville. I think last week….or the week before there was a review about Kaza’s show Funny Girl. So I responded to the editor via email and they printed it. Kaza called me today. Classic. SO! If you’re in or around SLOville have a looksy, if you don’t care – it doesn’ hurt my feelings.

Today was the last day with the DOS at the hotel. I don’t work Friday’s at the Hotel, and her last day is tomorrow. LOT’S OF WORK TODAY. But, everything should be easy for whomever comes along – no, they don’t have a new one and guess who’s taking over all the big groups that come in!! That’s right!!!!! A girl in sales will do the banquest and catering, and YOU KNOW WHO will be the contact for reservations among other small tasks. It’s ok – I will get through it. I will remember to breathe and remember that it won’t last forever.

Kaza leaves for New York 2 weeks from yesterday. Crazy Cool – I still don’t think it’s become a reality to me yet. A part of me thinks she’s just going on vacation and I’ll see her soon. But, you know – that’s just not the case.

You know, that about covers it for now. I’ll guess I’ll…..”Catch you Kats later.”

Slightly Frazzled moment:
Now, I’m not quite sure what to think. I’m not angry, or sad, or excited or frustrated…..well maybe I am. This morning I had the wierdest feeling. I felt excited about something, but I don’t know what – and then at the same time I felt depressed whatever I was excited about wasn’t going to happen. Does that make sense? Anyways. It bothered me and bothered me ALL day. I would go in and out of moods and in and out of paying attention to what I’m doing. Sometimes I just went on autopilot – guess that’s ok sometimes. I think – that I analyze things too much sometimes. But if I don’t overanalyze I won’t pinpoint what bothered me or kept my attention to begin with. It’s like when you stay awake in bed with nothing on your mind but you know your laying there awake – and wishing you were asleep.

Communicating Moment:
Roger Rabbit and I had an interesting conversation last night about gentlemen, size of vocabulary, jealousy, and using the word “sex” in a normal conversation. This only drove me to eating ice cream as food therapy. If you see something one way it’s hard to see it through anothers eyes, but the explaining of ones thought process or ideas can be really funny if you twist ’em around a bit. So that was fun. Um……

Fat Moment:
I really really really want to lose some weight. I can eat right until, well – until the food is gone, then the moment is “when will we have food again?” And I haven’t joined a gym yet. I checked out 24 hour fitness but the Sport one is WAY too expensive so I’ll check out the regular one soon, or the YMCA around the corner.

John Moment:
So I believe “Home Life” on John’s new CD is the favorite and a close second is “Wheel.” However the lyrics to “New Deep” and “Something’s Missing” relate to me right now, and if I feel like sulking I’ll hear “Split Screen Sadness” over and over and over. The thing is, with John’s song’s one will fit what I’m feeling one day – and another another day. Then some will remind me of a moment back then, or a moment I’m hoping for or looking forward to in the future. I think one of these days I’ll write what I think of each song and how it makes me feel – wouldn’t you ALL love that! Hahahahaha. I swear one day I’ll be interviewed and all it will be about is me talking about John’s songs. (You’d all tape it to and you KNOW IT!)

Quoting Moment:
From the Wise Mentor himself, “I feel…..magenta” Not blue (sad), green (sick), red (angry) or yellow (bla) I feel all the colors bleeding together and making me who I am.

Catch you Kats later

I’m having a ……what? huh? hmm? kind of day. I went out last night to a bar in West Hollywood (affectionately known as Gaysville). We (YummyVoice and I) were originally going to go to the Faggey….I mean The Abbey =) for a couple calm chocolate banana martini’s and instead stopped at Micky’s. Now I’ve been to these bars and nightclubs before – but not this one. Though there was nothing there I hadn’t seen before the bartenders…all male, served without shirts on, and there were dancers on boxes and drag queens on stage. A couple one-worders could have covered the feelings I felt. Those words are “wow” or “k” or “no” “help.” Though surrounded by males, obviously none of which were attracted to me, I had a great time. Dancin’ and drinkin’ 7&7’s (that would be thanks to the boys at Sunset Dunes for the introduction to such a drink) I sported blue jeans a blue t-shirt and my zories (if you don’t know what those are you can ask me) and my glasses. I felt rather unpretty but some random boy came up to me and said I was a goddess somewhere between Angelina Jolie and Wonderwoman. Well….ok!? I guess I’ll take it for what it’s worth. (and Kaza called me a couple times from a skarie-okie bar in Santa Barbara, apparently they have an AMAZING musical selection – I was jealous) GOING ON!

I saw Freaky Friday yesterday as well with Mentor, um Hysterical! and Mommie, please see it – it’s so worth it. I think I’ll see it one more time then wait for it to come out on video. Speaking of which….Finding Nemo comes out November 4th, 2003. AND speaking of Finding Nemo – little story background……About 2 weeks ago my computer at worked DIED and it lost all this information I needed and all these reports I created and wah wah wah. Well, I come into work today, and the DOS said “turn on your computer.” I was soooo excited thinking everything was fixed and pretty. So I turn it on, and yay everything was coming up correctly, but OH NO! On the desktop was a picture of Finding Nemo SUSHI. As in MY Nemo was cut in little pieces and dispersed over rolls of seaweed and rice ALL for MY comfort and enjoyment. I SCREAMED in horrow and laughed and cried all at the same time. The DOS just laughed. They put it there Friday and had to wait ALL weekend for me to see it. What a cruel thing to do.

I have not yet been paid, therefore my bank account is overdrawn. I hate that, you try to make sure everything equals out correctly, when you’ll be depositing money, when you’ll be paying bills and somehow in the mix I’m overdrawn and stupid Overdraft fees cost more than what was paid. Oh goody.

I bought a dictionary and a thesaurus yesterday, I just wanted to.

My sister will come visit me this coming weekend – to shop…she said. Only…to shop! and she may come to my bar – I’ve warned her though, so she may not!

And of course…..I’ll be in SLOville 10/2/03 for the weekend.
Then again 10/10/03 for the weekend (friends from out of town…will be IN town)
Then again 10/24/03 (smurfs play at school)

Catch you Kats Later