The top of the hat is cut off, it extends probably a foot up and the bottom of the skirt I lifted up so you can see the fun can-can colors I have. Today i did much better than I did yesterday. Be Our Guest felt great and so did Human again and I got to be in Kill the beast with my solo line (woo-hoo) and puppet baby (its scary a little) then I got chased by a wisk during storm the castle/battle.
Cleveland is sick – I feel bad, but he helped me when I was feeling sick so of course I’ll do what I can.
wasn’t even looking
You know that feeling in your chest when the butterflies have moved up from your stomach. Its like melting and yearning at the same time mixed with excitement and contentment and just pure joy……..that’s what it feels like when I’m with him. Haven’t felt like that in . . . in. . . well – can’t say I’ve ever actually felt quite like that. I’m not a fan of the comparing game but, he’s – he’s not like anyone else I’ve ever met. I can’t kiss him enough or talk to him enough or just look at him enough. Caitlin said she was glad I had a new boy toy and I was all of a sudden defenseless. He’s not a toy! I don’t want to toy with him. He’s not a fan, or a fling he’s. . . special somehow. He’s different. And him being different means *I* am different, and that feels great too. How can one person say SO MANY perfect things at the right time? He doesn’t feed me lines, he’s not cheezy, he’s sincere, and genuine, and precious and I’m going to set aside one day to just look at him in the eyes, and one day to just cuddle up next to him and watch movies or TV, and one day to just kiss him. To use the word perfect seems to cliche and at the same time it almost makes him have to be at some level or meet some expectation, thing is – he’s already passed any expectation or hope I would normally come up with. I feel more giddy with him then I have with anyone, and I don’t feel embarrased to practice my scene or monologue around him. He knows thats my work and he’s supportive and helpful and encouraging – and he took care of me when I was sick. He’ seen me dressed up, he’s seen me sweaty and gross or in jammies with a cough and a stuffy nose, he’s adorable and so much more. I haven’t played the “girlfriend boyfriend” card/game in a long time. The relationships I’ve had in the past 4-5 years don’t seem to add up to the kinds of feelings I’m having for him. I didn’ even want to use the words boyfriend girlfriend for the longest time. I wanted the freedom of my name without a title, I wanted to feel detached from the jouvenile nicknames of boyfriend girlfriend – and now………..I’m embracing the words with such delight one would think I’ve reverted to the young teenager in love with Johnny Depp on 21 Jump Street.
Yes, its Cleveland – yes he’s the boyfriend and yes i love it
sunday
I still have a cough,and the sniffles, its worse after I dance or run around.
This afternoon I went on as a napkin for Be Our Guest and as a Villager for the Mob Song (Kill the Beast) and storm the castle. Its fun being chased by a wisk then scared by a carpet – but I lose my breath very quickly and have to sit immediately after and drink water quickly for my dry throat.
I’ll be going on again tonight at 7pm, please send healthy thoughts my way to keep me on “track” (get it?….member what a track is??). . .
Cleveland and I watched friends last night til 4am. We watched the rest of season 10. yes my sister has all 10 seasons, we were laughing hysterically – it was great. And for once I woke up with a different song in my head instead of be our guest or human again. . . i’ll be there for yoooooouuuuuu, cause you’re there for me toooooo.
I stga 7am – 3pm for those of you who wish to see me you may catch me then. I still need to choreograph a movement piece and start on what feels like several papers.
(cough cough) Cleveland : the sound intern, the crush = 6’0, brownish short hair light blue eyes. Played the trumpet for . . . 12 years? so if you’re wondering if he’s a good kisser the answer is yes, sang to me the other night too – super cute. yes he’s on myspace, no he doesn’t go by cleveland on that. its his “aiyani nickname” According to my “top 8” and the process of elimination you will easily beable to find out who i’m talking about. He’s not the italian god friend of mine i met in burbank, that’s kaine, he won’t be the new artist Matt O’Brien (who’s CD you can’t wait for !!!!) He wouldn’t be a band or my future husband and we all know I love bear – but “bear” is his nickname. And I don’t know how many straight men you know that enjoy musicals and theatre but it was nice to find one that wants to be on the same page I am.
ps. for those of you who read this and attend PCPA i know this is public info but I dont’ want random stories flying around the theatre. Please let me have my private life and my professional one – thank you.
pps. 21 shopping days. has your house puked with christmas yet? no well HURRY UP!!
(cough cough)
Someone in the cast had a family emergency. Someone whom I adore and love. Several people understudy different parts of his track. And I swing for someone who had to step in for him during Be Our Guest. . . therefore ladies and gents I had to step into the role of Napkin for Be our Guest. I can’t tell you what I was feeling. It wasn’t excitement or nervousness. I was very calm. I had never even tried on my costume so the fact that it was “on its way” was a bit nerve racking, and then it didn’t arrive till after curtain went up (it got there about 20-25 minutes before I needed to go on) so once it was there I had a few practice turns in it – that material is HEAVY and it really meant if I wanted to stop turning I had to dig my landing and tighten up the abs and ass. Everyone says I did great, it was really fun, it didn’t feel real, …it was really fun.
The next day another girl was out with a family emergency. i swing for her in the entire show. SO – yes, i was a villager and the cheese grater. It was hysterical and fun and everyone backstage and onstage was helpful in getting me to the exact place I needed to be.
And then there was yesterday. People are getting sick left and right, myself included and yesterday we had the understudys for Lefou and Gaston go on – which meant through a few shifts that I would need to go on for “Kill the beast” and when the villagers storm the castle. So there I was at a put-in rehearsal (put-in, where people that need to be placed in the number are placed and get to run it) shivering with 3 layers on a scarf and beanie and a fever and just glad I didn’ have to be a napkin – when the stage manager and assistant choreographer come to me and say thank you aiyani, but we’re sending you home. A part of me was relieved, a bigger part was starting to cry and I held back the tears until I was up the stairs. Then Cleveland came over to me (you don’t who cleveland is yet do you?. . . I’ll tell you later) and asked if I was ok of course the answer was no and I started to cry and he just hugged me and kissed my forehead and said it was better that I got some rest and he would call me later. Then Christine and Matt were backstage (both classmates, ones a dresser – helps all girls with their costumes, matt is a male swing) and I just lost it infront of them. I was bawling my eyes out crying because I was letting so many people down and I didn’t get to go on and I felt horrible and they just hugged me and tried to make me feel better. They were so possitive, they were wonderful and made me feel a bit better.
I got home, had some soup and downed some nyquil in hopes that it would help. It did, at least a little. I still missed my theatre history class this morning – which I was later told was cancelled anyways, so that’s good for me. . . and soon I’m off to the theatre just to make sure they don’t need me.
I have tons of homework, at least thats what it feels like. I need to choreograph a movement piece to the poem I chose (thanks to Joel I have a WONDERFUL piece to work with) and I putting it to the theme of Armageddon (sp?) I have to write a critical paper for history, a paper for professionalism, memorize a scene, memorize a monologue and assignment 4 for text. I guess its a good think I like typing and can do it well.
I’m (hopefully) going to Utah to visit husband (Antoan) for new years, it will be nice to see the best friend and. . . yah – 22 shopping days, I love wish list on amazon.com
credit
For Movement class we are required to bring in a poem, or excerpt from a poem, 3 – 6 lines in length. double spaced with size 14-16 font. The only place I could think of to look for poems was here…..After all it is a public page, so I just took it and I’ll be sure to give credit where credit it due. the poem I am taking to class tonight is this:
Break through the madness
Smash doubt’s prison and be free
Please come rescue me
-Joel Watkins #20
Ladies and Gentlemen
“And out of no where leaving his home in PA to play guitar in NY Matt O’Brien pops onto the music scene with a boyish look to catch anyone’s eye twice and a voice to match. The simplicity yet specificity of his lyrics and music blend together to what this fan would call John Mayer meets Darren Hays (Savage Garden). Allthough a part of me wants a bit more intensity, not alot – just a bit, the comfort zone handed over from this boy next door is sure to warm you this winter, keep you bopping next spring, be your best friend during summer break, and keep you company in the fall when schedules and routines are again required. The sound of his breathy voice is somewhere between –the one you love’s sexy tone at the other end of the line –, and –your best friend that calls you at 3am to make sure you’re awake for your 5am flight to come and visit–. His music compliments his voice, his voice compliments his music – run, don’t walk, run and find ‘the blue in the black’ written,composed and performed by new artist Matt O’Brien.
Mr. Miyagi
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/11/25/AR2005112500990.html
its just part of my childhood, and probably yours too.
Aiyani Mersai 