Aiyani Mersai

Ok, so following the advise of those pointing me in directions of financial aid and what not I called Hancock to see where I can apply for other scholarships and grants or what not.  They said when I applied online the….FAFSA…thing that also sent in an application for the Pell Grant (?) and a BOG…Grant.  I dont’ know what these are.  BUT, she said I was approved for BOG and my tuition will be paid for I will just need to purchase my parking permit, ID, and Books.  She said they don’t have any info for me about the Pell Grant, but if I’m approved for that as well they would send me 2 checks a semester for other school thingys – and that’s good!  And then she said for me to go into the office and they have a Scholarship board so I can write down websites or addresses or phone numbers to apply for more scholoarships. 

I’m feeling at little more at east because of this.  Not alot, but a bit more at ease.  Thank you missloo12 for pointing me in the financial direction MORE than once, you’ve been VERY helpful.  thank you to everyone who has told me to look for Scholarships and Grants, because – honestly I wouldn’t have known to do so.

Thank you all SO much for your encouragement with School, my weight, and my money issues.  I made a call today to Marie at uberspooky

The Episode of Xtreme Fakeovers that I was in will Air Monday May 16th at 8pm PST on PAX

So here I am.  $7.40 an hour Sporting The Green Apron up to a whole 23 hours a week.  Yes, I make HALF of what I used to.  Yes, I CHOSE part time – and even if I wanted full time, it’s not available.  Yes, I chose The green apron because it would enable me to audition in la la land sometimes. 

But I need to be making more money.  Current living situation – rent free, will change in 2 months to $300 a month.  Current Car situation is STILL $233 a month – and for another 2 years too.  Gym is $45, I pay Bear seperatley from gym and I only see him 2 times a week – I’d like to see him 4 times a week..  He gives me a GREAT deal because we’ve known eachother for YEARS and he’s just a very good friend.  But STILL – Where do I find more money. 

To live the “life” I want I need

$300 Rent
$75 utilities – lets say
$233 Car
$45 Gym
$400 Bear
Soon I won’t need to pay storage so that gives me  WHOPPING $45 back a month
Car insurance
Cel Phone
lets say a total I need to NET $1200

This may also pay for Gas, Groceries – things like toilet paper and FOOD.

What do I make now??? I GROSS LESS THAN $600 A MONTH

I know, I KNOW – I’m a loser.  I can feel it. EVERYDAY I feel it.  Everyday I think of a NEW way to be disappointed in myself.  Everyday I also have the same reasons why clothes don’t fit.  Because I’m a FAT COW.

YAH – Welcome to week 10 working out with Bear 2 times a week for one hour.  And welcome to the 4th week of me doing cardio on my own in addition to my training.  And what have I lost you ask?????????????………..NOTHING.  I weight the EXACT SAME. My MEASUREMENTS are the EXACT same. 

I’m discouraged.  I’m stronger – Bear says I am, I KNOW I am – but I need to LOOK different – I NEED IT.

Yah – I’ve applied for Financial Aid for PCPA, no I haven’t heard of anything.  NO – I haven’t applied for any scholoarships or Grants – WHERE DO I DO THIS??  And can’t apply for a Student Loan until I”ve been a student for 30 days. 

I KNOW – EVERYONE has money problems and they seem to work themselves out.  they WON”T work themselves out at this rate.  I dont’ want to go back to hotels just to pay bills and food on the damn table.  I dont’ want a boring office job.

I don’t know what to do – I dont’ know I don’t know I don’t know. 

All I know, is I need more money. 

Ideas anyone?
$

Its interesting that I act exactly how old I am. isn’t that wierd? Do YOU think I act 26??

for those of you behind – I had an EXCELLENT surprise party for my birthday – about 2 weeks ago.  I’ve never had a surprise party, and the last time I was surprise-surprised was last year when Kaza flew out from New York for my birthday.  I love her – LOVE HER.

For those aware of THAT, what you may not know is that the weekend after my party my sisters (Summer, and Grace…the white might as well be my sister – sister) took me to a Sarah McLachlan concert in Fresno – of all places.  Sarah IS BRILLIANT and WONDERFUL and it’s SICK how talented she is – sick.  The opening band was EXCELLENT as well and I purchased their CD over the weekend.  They are

For those of you who were interested. 

“Xtreme Fakeover” has begun to air.  The first episode will air monday 4/25/05 at 8pm, and it will stay on Mondays 8pm on the PAX channel.  There is no listing for what episode will play when.  I’ll check if I remember and let you know.  The episode I was on is entitled “Stage Dad” I think it was episode 9 but that doesn’t mean they’ll air it in the numerical order they taped it. 

I gotta get to the green apron now.  i’d rather be napping.

I second what JoelZero says and I say “Gmail anyone?”  I’ve had an account for a while, got it from my sister and yah – I don’t really use it,  I have other email accounts set up for other things and soon I’ll move into gmail like my real house.  But until then, I have 2108 free MG just sitting in my computer.  I dont’ know how many people you know, but if you’d like a gmail account you let me know, cause I have 50 to give out as well.

notes to self:
this birthday weekend (i’m still speechless)
the end of the tax co
more STGA
maybe PCPA, maybe not. . .
Working out
bla bla bla

ATTENTION LADIES:
Do you any of you get EXTEMELY dry skin when you are PMS?  I can’t seem to put enough face lotion on my face and it like, HURTS if I’m not lathered in face lotion.  But only during this certain time of the month.  Suggestions?  Or am I alone in this?….

see ya

Thank you to all of you who helped me find a place to fill out a Financial Aid application without paying for it.  That was SO random and dumb.  I’m glad I didn’t actually go fetch a credit card of some sort and pay $80 for it, that would’ve been REALLY lame.  So thank you – THANK YOU everyone for your help.  I’ve successfully applied, and now …..we wait.

AND….Attention those who said they’d help me move Kaza’s Shtuff from Ze Barn.  We no longer will need to move anything until June.  And THAT’s only a maybe as well.  Her stuff is safe until the beginning of June, then we’ll see if we need to move it somewhere.  As for a living situation I believe she and david and I have found the PERFECT place with a HUGE thanks to my Miguel and the lovely Rebekah.  If all goes as it seems to be all 3 of us might just move into a fab duplex in AG with SO many WONDERFUL features.  And….at THAT time may I call on you for help to move IN???? 

Hope so!!!  But the moving somewhere won’t be til July.  So if you’d be so kind to keep it in the back of your head that would be FantAStic. 

Today was the end day for the first 6 weeks working out with Bear.  Thursdays are harder, upper body is my weakest between upper and lower.  All my life I’ve had to have really strong legs and pretty much be able to either punch someone fast or wash my hair with my upper body.  Even in highschool I threw the shot and the disc and that was alot of lower body too.  SO – he makes me do more reps for lower body for muscle endurance and to lean out, and we do more strength training for upper body.  Needless to say, I feel like JELLO EVERY TIME I LEAVE THERE.  But I feel like I completed something and it’s good for me.

After all, God gave me this body – the least I can do is try to keep it healthy, I mean since asking for a different one in general hasn’t worked yet, I may as well try to alter the way this one looks a bit.  Hopefully he won’t weigh me, though I’m sure he will – and hopefully when he measures me next week I will have at least lost AN INCH….from ANYWHERE.  (sigh)

Time for bed.  Last day at the tax company tomorrow.

and 2, count that 2 shopping days til yours truly is closer to 30 than 20.  That’s right folks, this Sunday the princess passes her Mid twenties.  No, I dont’ have a big party planned.  Miguel and I are going to dinner sat night, then to Skarieokie.  Mommie wants to do lunch and dadda wants to take me to the Olive Garden.  So yay for that.

Ok ok ok ok okok ok ok ok ok ok – good night Neverland.