Aiyani Mersai

Today I pumped $9.65 of gas in my car and left with a quarter tank of gas.  My thoughts on this will not be expressed at this time.

Next. . . the cast list is up for Beaty and the Beast.  I’ve been assigned (we’re not offered rolls or parts in the plays, we are assigned them. . . ok. . . ) to be a “Swing.”  Typically, for those of you who don’t know, a Swing is an understudy roll for chorus members.  I will understudy 5 different chorus girls.  I will learn all their dances, have their costume changes and learn their vocal arrangements.  At first I was a little taken back because that sounds a bit much, but then I thought well. . . I won’t have to talk to much so I can just focus on singing and dancing……..

then I read on and saw that I’ve also been assigned to understudy Babette.  She is the little feather duster thing that Lumierre (candlestick guy) has a thing for.  I’ve been assigned to understudy for a girl named Bryn Harris is, I’m told – I have not met but I’m excited to, UH-MAY-ZING.  That she’s beautiful with this amazing charisma and presense on stage.  I thought to myself those are very big shoes to fill, but when I spoke with Kaza she said some very strong words to me.  she said, and I quote. . . “They assigned you these rolls 1) because they trust you and 2) because you CAN HANDLE IT.  that was very comforting.

I’m flattered but at the same time the look on fellow students when they find out that I’m a Swing AND and understudy for a “part” shocks them.  I don’t know if the shock is “ay thats alot and you can totally handle it” or “woah that NEVER happens and you’re gonna DIE” or” but you’re only a first year? how did you get assigned ALL of that???”  but aside from what THEY think I am reminding myself that “they can trust me, and I can handle it” 

This will be  an amazing challange and a great experience I’m looking forward to this new adventure and will give them everything I have.  I will eat well and rest as much as possible and be prepared.

Of course this means i’ll REALLY never have time.  Currently I’m there Tue-Sun from 9am til 4:30/5pm, rehearsals will be after that til about 10:30ish.  My mother suggested to me today that I live with my sister in Santa Maria at her condo, it is a mile from school.  I’m letting it sink in, I let david n Kaza know and we’re all just gonna chew on it and let it continue to sink in.

(yawns) goodnight neverland

The only class I CAN’T STAND is Created Projects.  Our assignment?  A 5 minute or less interpretation (skit, movement piece, whatever) of the following phrase:  Journey of Excellence

I’m the oldest one in my class (26) the next is 24 and 23 and the rest are 18 and 19 and a couple of 20 year olds. A total of 27 people in my “class” and we are broken into groups.  All. . did you read that?.. . ALL  that’s A. . L…L… the ideas we as a group of 9 can apparently come up with are the kind you came up with in Jr. High Drama class or High School when you only had one hour to put something together than perform it.  it’s old, its juvenile and if their idea isn’t picked they pout.  They WERE POUTING FOR THE PAST 3 DAYS.  no one can agree and if you go with majority rules then that ONE person has to make it MISERABLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE by pouting and constantly saying what they DON’T like about whatever and then sitting down and sulking and separating themselves from the group.  THIS DOES NOT HELP. 

As a group, compromises must be made.  Sacrificing an excellent idea for an idea that will move the group forward one positive step is something you’re gonna have to deal with in “real life” and they would KNOW THIS IF THEY WEREN’T 12. . . (deep breaths)They would know this if they came to “college” with open minds, a little more “life” experience and if they left their yearbooks “senior best” page on the shelf in their room.  I can look at some of these people and just KNOW “best personality” “friendliest senior” “prettiest girl” “class clown”.  What I have to do is look at them and remember I am somewhere different in my life than they are.  I need to put in my efforst only as I am, not as I was or think i’m going to be.  Does that make sense? 

(another deap breath) I feel better now.  Thank you, I appreciate you listening and being a soundboard.  I know that I need to be patient and worry about myself and my health and what *I* bring to the table and the best way to survive is to live well, be positive and remind myself that I am where I am, and they are where they are.

Modern Dance (my normal class on wed/fri) from 9am to 10:25 went as normal. 

THEN we had 60 people in one room for dance auditions.  All 60 of us learned a quick combination and had to perform it. One of the cool things about this is we had the musical intern playing the for us, his name is Jordan, we like him – he also played the accompanyment for all my musical auditions thus fa.r From the 60 people I made the first cuts (which means I got to stay).  Then there were about 30 of us and the choreographer went on the with the combination adding “more difficult”moves to it.  (I put that in quotes because it already WAS on the “difficult” side) So we added on then performed it again and I made cuts again (that means I stayed again) and from this group he put us into 3 lines.  Front one of about 7 girls, then a row of I think 5 of 6 boys and a backrow of I’d say 4 girls (i can’t really remember. . . )  I was in the back row of the girls and then he split us into groups again to perform it again.  Then he said thank you to everyone he’ll post the list either tomorrow or the next day and can the front row of girls and Aiyani please stay to do some across the floor. 

I’m 5’9″ and I’d say the next tallest girl was 5’6″ and  wore a size 3.  I looked VERY out of place but I was doing what I was told.  And what we had to do as a group was a combination  of turns and such. We had to do it in one single file line  It follows with how to pronounce the words, not how they are actually spelled.

P-K
P-K
Suit-new
Fwah-tay
(do that twice)then
balan-say
balan-say
Shun-ay
Shun-ay and touch
run, run run run (into a line)
then kickline

Very exciting huh?  aren’t you SO interested- nah, you don’t have to be.  The most difficult part for me was I had the longest legs and was at the end of the line coming out so it was much more difficult for me to stay in my place because I could either kick the girl infront of me to get the nice line and good prep and finish the turns OR I could shorten it up, not kick her and almost land on my face a couple times.  By the 10th time doing it. . . here is the funny part. . .he said ” think dancing napkin” and with every part of me I held back from laughing.  How Ironic. . . spend ALL day dancing and giving 110% to be asked to stay and think “i wanna be a napkin, i wanna be a napkin”

In closing, it was lovely to go to Loke n Jim’s last night, thank you to kevin for driving and I need to now go finish memorizing a shakespeare sonnet. 

Today was auditions for Beauty and the Beast.  We are required to audition, and we (as first years) were asked more to do  “intro to me” pieces.  We were supposed to sing songs that perhaps showed off where we were vocally, and do a monolgue that we liked/connected to.  Some people chose very dark deep ones, and though that may not be appropriate for Beaty and the Beast, that was not our assignment. 

I sang a part of “Wizard and I” from Wicked and did a monolgue from “I ought to be in pictures” it follows. 

I get up an hour before you just to check if you’re still there? I know Grandma’s dead. I know she probably can’t hear me. But I speak to her everyday anyway because I’m not so sure anyone else is listening. If I have to go for an interview, my heart pounds so much you can see it coming through my blouse. That thing about my name on the valet stubs? It wasn’t my idea. It was Gordon’s. He did it first, so I just copied him? If you want the God’s honest truth, I don’t even want to be an actress. I don’t know the first thing about acting. I don’t know what I want to be? I just wanted to come out here and see you. I just wanted to know what you were like. I wanted to know why I was so frightened every time a boy wanted to reach out and touch me? I just wanted somebody in the family to hold me because is was me, and not somebody who wasn’t there?

During class on sunday I had started to cry.  I was just really emotional about it for some reason, made a couple other people cry too.  But today I was more angry.  I did get upset and maybe a little water eyed but as a whole the piece wasn’t sad to me this time, it felt angry.  So that’s how it was portrayed.  I don’t like to memorize monolgues a certain way – if you do that you risk not being able to change if you’re asked to do so. 

And the answer is No, I did not get a callback for singing or reading.  Dance auditions and callbacks are tomorrow – i’m required to do those as well so I will and I’ll let you know how that goes.  It was refreshing to hear people sing again, musical songs that is.  I know I can go just about anywhere for karaoke, but there’s something great when people sing songs from musical, I can’t help but smile. 

ps.  The choreographer for Beauty and the Beast is the same guy who told me I needed to audition for PCPA.  and NO I don’t by any means think that will get me “in” but it I was very appreciative today and last week when he said he was glad to see me and how great my pieces were today. 

The Poll is now closed.

Thank you to everyone who commented or emailed or called me with their vote for my headshot.  With careful consideration speaking with my manager in la la land and by popular demand my new headshot will beNumber 2. 

Quickly – I started at PCPA on Tuesday. First two days were dumb, and filled with ready a syllabus for every class and introducing myself 406 times – ish. The last few have begun the great experience that will be PCPA.  Yes folks “i think i’m gonna like it here”  I’d love to tell you more, but I’m terribly busy with projects and homework.  I dont’ think you’ll see much of me but I’ll try to post SOMETHING so you know i’m alive and where I am. . . ish.

I may have to quit the green apron entirely.  Actually the school handbook says I can’t have an outside job, if I want one or NEED one I must sign a contract that says this job will not affect my work at school etc.  We’ll see, it may be best for me to leave.  With just the past couple days I feel a bit overwhelmed with projects I dont’ know if I want to worry about working.  hello student loans.

that’s all for now. 

These are options for my new headshot.  Please vote.

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I need to figure out a way to record my voice (just speaking) onto my computer.  I have a microphone but I don’t know what software I need or whatever.  I need to beable to creat MP3’s of my talking. 

again – all help wanted